New diagnosis for my 97 year old father

Hello Ainz and welcome to the group, although sorry to hear about your father. The usual first step in treatment would be a fairly minor op to remove what they can but it sounds like your father has declined this. When I was first diagnosed my doctor prescribed steroid tablets which improved my appetite and made me feel better, something you may discuss when you have the phone consultation. I hope they can come up with a plan to help your father feel better. Best wishes.

Thanks for your reply , Rily.

Due to dad’s age and other co-morbidities , surgery isn’t an option for him ….
great suggestion about the steroids ! 

best wishes ,

Ainz 

Hi Ainz,Welcome to the group.Sorry to hear about your father.Best wishes Jane 

Thank you , Jane .

Best wishes to you ,

Ainz 

I also experienced extreme fatigue with the bladder tumour until it was removed. 

Thanks ,  CDN .

Sadly , dad has been told he would not survive the anaesthetic for any surgical removal , so this is not an option for him . Nor is chemotherapy , radiotherapy or immunotherapy . 

I am so happy to hear that your surgical removal of the tumour has helped with your fatigue and I wish you well in your recovery .

Best Wishes ,

A 

Hello Ainz. I saw your post and it resonated with me. My dad is 93 and has advanced bladder cancer which has spread to his lungs and his pelvis.  The timings are almost identical to your fathers in that we found out also in October 2023.  And the weight loss is similar.

My dad cannot be offered immunotherapy, and has refused chemo.

i would be interested in knowing from anyone on the forum, as well as Ainz, what to expect next. My dad lives alone.

will he be in lots of pain, or will he just get more and more tired?  I’ve googled and can’t really find the answer.

Ainz, how did the consultation go and how are things now?

Dear DaisyMay ,

It seems our dads are very similar in their diagnosis and treatment options .

Dad is receiving end of life home hospice care at the moment … this is day 13 . 
He is not in any pain , but is experiencing agitation and restlessness . However , his nursing team are medicating him for this and he is mostly calm and peaceful .

His consciousness levels are dropping , but he managed to sing me a song at 2.30am today . We were playing Doris Day music for him yesterday and a certain tune was stuck in his mind ! It really made me smile ! 

Sending warmest wishes to your dear dad for peaceful and pain times ahead . Also , I really do fully understand how difficult this must be for you , too .

Warmest thoughts to you , DaisyMay .

Ainslie xox 

Thank you for replying. I’m encouraged to hear your dad is being cared for at home.  I hope we can do the same, my dad lives alone (we lost mum a few years ago), so my sister and I will obviously spend much more time with him.

i remember my mum and moving in and out of consciousness. She was on morphine.

My Dad likes Doris Day too.

it’s great that he managed to sing to you.  Sad times.  But we know don’t we, that we’ve been so lucky to have such a lovely dad for so long, but we just want this next bit to be as comfortable as possible,

thinking of you over the next few days