I am looking for some advice, experiences, support, I'm not even sure myself what I'm asking for but feeling so overwhelmed right now. My 84 year old dad has TCC (transitional cell cancer of the kidney), urethral strictures and high grade aggressive bladder cancer. He had TURBT in March 2022, again in October 2022 and was told he was terminal in March 2033 when he was admitted via A&E with haematuria. He had 3 blasts of radiotherapy to stop the bleeding. Last week he was again admitted because he couldn't wee (he has been bladder incontinent for months and sometimes bowel too). He had a catheter inserted under a spinal block after having diathermy to remove the tumor in his 'pipe' which is exactly what they did in March. Today they called Dad to give him an appointment to go in and have the catheter removed which dad accepted, despite having an in depth conversation with him, his Dr and myself where we agreed the catheter should remain in place and the district nurses will come in and look after it for him. This meant 2 hours on the phone for me trying to find somebody who I could cancel the appointment with and tell them the reasons why (I had already e-mailed 4 different people last Friday). Dad has completely given up. He keeps saying to me that he just wants it to end. He is also in end stage heart failure with just 20% of his heart working. Nobody will give us a prognosis but I feel if dad was told he has 6 months to a year then it would give him not something to look forward to but time where he could relax and enjoy his remaining time. I have told him there will be no more invasive procedures and hopefully no more time in hospital but right now he is miserable about everything and I just want him to have some peace and quiet. Does anybody have similar experiences, any advice?? I do feel so overwhelmed, every time I see him I'm coming home sobbing. What can I do??
