?satge 3 options. The wait I can’t handle it.

Hello CMM1980 and welcome to the group. Sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis and about the loss of your daughter. We know how distressing it can be in the early days of uncertainty and not knowing. When the biopsy results are in,  you will have a clearer picture of treatment going forward. The alternative to bladder removal for muscle invasive bladder cancer can be radiotherapy if suitable. This is the road I took. I hope all goes well. Best wishes.

Dear CMM1980, yes there is hope . More than that there is a likelihood of a good outcome. The waiting period that you have at the moment is the worst bit of the process. Given that the TURBT was a week ago means that there will possibly be a couple of weeks before a treatment plan is in place. There are several options for treatment one of which may be cystectomy but that’s not the only one. There is lots of information and support here and you’ll see that waiting for results is the most common concern.  I was saddened to hear of the loss of your daughter, this must have been devastating for you. I’m sending best wishes for a good outcome for your husband and you , John.

So sorry you are having to deal with this especially after losing your daughter xx so many people on this forum have first hand knowledge of bladder cancer and I'm sure they'll soon be on to give you their experience and advice xx the waiting for results is the worse time ..we just want something to be done to get rid of this horror thing ..I kept going through all worse scenarios and I got so anxious  but didn't want to show my husband as he was going through his own turmoil.. I tried to get out as much as I could walking,going  for a coffee and doing things to keep my mind from constantly worrying..I hope you are both in relatively good health to be able to get about ..this forum helped me so much to realise bladder cancer is not a death sentence and so much can be done .. I am having bcg treatment at the moment..this will go on for about 3 years and I'll probably be monitored for life ..I'm 66 and been great up until I found blood in urine Dec 2020 I felt so shocked but have come to terms with it now ..take care I'm  sure you'll find helpful advice from some knowledgeable people on here x good luck love from Tina xx

Hi CMM1980,Welcome to this friendly group.I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter.Waiting for results is stressful and most people find they feel better once a treatment plan is in place.I was stage 3b and am doing well following bladder removal in 2019.Best wishes to you and your husband.Jane

Hi

Not good news I grant you, but definitely not the last straw. The cancer is contained, which is a good thing and there is every chance of successful treatment.

I had invasive bladder cancer in 2017, which lead to a radical cystectomy after three cycles of chemotherapy and I've not looked back. I chose a stoma rather than a neo bladder, but that's something to consider once you get the treatment plan. I do admit that there were some emotional adjustments, but I'm alive with a good prognosis.

The early days are usually the worse, but in my case things did get better over time. Ask questions and get a clear idea of what happens next. Use this site as often as you need it, we've all been in your husband's situation and we've all have carers (Like you,) who have gone through the mill. Try to look beyond the cloud you have in front of you.xx

I have Bladder cancer stage 4. Muscle invasive & it's in the prostate. The cancer was though the wall & in the pelvic cavity. I had 3 cycles of chemo which nearly killed me. My wife put me on a paleo diet & I have zero processed sugars. I also contacted the Care Oncology Clinic in London which provides me with supportive medication which blocks pathways that the cancer uses to feed. After having zero help from my oncologist, we complained & forced him to talk to us & give options. I compared Radiotherapy with Radical Cysectomy (RC) & decided to go for the RC against my wife's wishes. I understand that some people who choose Radiotherapy then have to later have an RC, the RC op is then far more difficult for the surgeon. My operation was 2 months ago, I now have a stoma & am impotent. I had a CT scan last week & the results are no sign of cancer. At this point I have a 20% chance of no reoccurance. I will be starting a 2 weekly 2 year course of Immumotherapy shortly to hopefully increase that chance.

We cry most days, the cancer has made my wife mentally ill. The immunotherapy & paleo diet gives us some hope.

Hi

Not too sure what to say. Very sorry to hear about your wife's situation. Unfortunately the toll on our loved ones is not given enough consideration, so I hope she is getting help and support.

I am somewhat surprised that you had to fight so hard to get a consult with your consultant, which seems appalling.

The fact that you're clear is important and something to hold onto and may it continue. Please stay in touch with the group.

Dear Coojee, so glad your CT scan was clear, that is so important. Hoping you will find the immunotherapy both helpful and easy to tolerate. At least you have a plan and I am sure the paleo diet will be helpful too. I hope with time your wife will feel that working on the paleo diet is a positive role and she will gradually recover mentally.

Denby

And the wait continues. So the results are back. My husband was discussed in the MDT yesterday. Nurse rang and informed us of an appointment on Monday for him to discuss his options. So another wait. Why. It’s stressful enough. Why have to wait almost another week. On top it’s our daughters angelversary on Saturday so kinda just want the anxieties of it all dealt with before. 
Thank you everyone for your kind words of advice too. It’s seems all we have is bad luck at the moment. He no longer has a job as of the end of the month either and with this diagnosis it’s unlikely he’ll be in a position to work any time soon let alone anything else. Just added stress we didn’t need.