Radical cystectomy date

Oh dear, this is all so stressful for you. In some ways it is better not to have too long to wait. I know you are in a fairly isolated position, but I wonder of there are any local Urostomy groups who could help reassure that although recovery is long & slow, life will resume afterwards?

Sounds as though your wife will really need company when you go into hosp. Can GP or local mental health services help at all? Or a friend or relative come to stay? I expect you have thought of all this. I am thinking of you, wishing you the strength you both need to get through this. 

Dear Coojee, I can only echo Teasswill, I am also thinking of you and wishing you strength. Might it be possible for your wife to stay somewhere near the hospital while you are in there? If a local church couple or some other Good Samaritan could have her to stay she would be supported and able to visit you to gain reassurance as you recover. And you would have much more peace of mind when you most need not to be worried sick about her.

Meanwhile the positive is that the sooner the surgery the less chance of any cancer spreading further during delay, surely?

Best wishes, 

Denby

I’m so sorry that you are facing this stress.I’m sure if your wife could speak to someone who has been through the surgery she would be reassured.You will need some help when you come home.As the others have suggested it would be helpful for your wife to have some company and support while you are in hospital.I hope something can be put in place to help you both.Best wishes Jane

What type of radical cystectomy are you going for?

Coogee what type of surgery are you going for?

Kimdav, Removal of bladder, prostate, nerves to penis, seminal vesicles, lymph nodes. It horrifies my wife, she's screaming & in tears all the time. She won't get help, I talked her out of suicide last night. The hospital is about 150 miles away, we have an indoor cat. We moved here in 2019 just before lockdown, we are remote & we are not close enough anyone for help. My wife is definate that the operation will kill me.

I'm assuming you have had the pop up message from Macmillan about Samaritans & Mind? Not that you can make anyone talk to them. Cruel as it might be, you might need her or you to be somewhere else to recover. I wish I could find an answer for you, but am at least here to listen.