Feelings

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Hi..

I'm new to this forum.. just recently diagnosed with anal cancer stage 2..

Due to start my 28 days of chemoradiation on 6th Jan..

I'm struggling to cope with my feelings on how I have this and feelings of guilt.. im in a loving relationship and have been for over 30 years.. Im feeling very low.. is this normal? 

  • Hello Squeak

    I read your post and must admit at getting quite emotional reading the wonderful responses you have had, and each and every one of them are absolutely right; stop feeling guilty and blaming yourself.  You have done NOTHING wrong.  Don't visit the why and who aspect, just concentrate on getting through the next couple of months and getting your life back.

    So we are here to help support if you need it in the coming weeks, there isn't anything that you can't talk about on here. 

    Just three weeks to go - get a calendar and mark off those days.

    Irene xx

  • Hi Mrs Vanilla 

    Thank you for your words and advice..

    I have started a shopping list of practical everyday things I need.

    Including food, snacks and toiletries..

    I have even bought tenna ladies just in case I need them

    I have downloaded lots of books to keep me occupied and learnt how to navigate all the apps on my TV so if need be I can watch TV in the middle of the night..

    I'm trying to stay positive and all of tge responses today have really meant the world to me.. thank you so much for taking time to respond.

    I hope you and your loved ones have a lovely Christmas x

    Squeak

  • Hi Irene 

    I'm overwhelmed by the lovely words today.. I feel so much stronger knowing this forum is here to talk about worries and anxieties..

    Hope you have a lovely Christmas x Heart️ 

    Squeak

  • Hi Squeak

    Welcome to the club. Getting a cancer diagnosis is a complete head f**k in my opinion and you go through a variety of emotions and feelings all totally normal. Please don't feel guilty you have done nothing wrong, the majority of the population have 1 or more strains of hpv and for most it stays dormant and causes no problems and for some it may become active and still not cause problems and for the unlucky few while active can cause cell changes. Try to focus on having a fab Christmas and being ready to take on the treatment in the new year and getting your health back. Sending hugs. Xx

  • Hi Squeak, I’m a newby too. Ive just had results from my second round of biopsys and back at Christie’s on Tuesday for what I hope is a moving forward plan. Like yourself I’ve felt very guilty about the type of cancer that I’ve been diagnosed with, and have had to explain to my partner and children not to believe all you read on the internet. Yes it’s a sexual disease but can lye dormant for a long time and then rear its  ugly head when you least expect it. I’m very lucky that I have a good partner and a good family network around me. I have found the chat on here very refreshing as you can chat about anything without feeling any embarrassment!! And I have taken onboard lots of tips like you seem to of. I wish you all the best with your treatment and I wish every everyone on here to have the best Christmas that they can xx

  • Thank you Bungle1..

    My aim is to stay positive and stay fit and fight this bloody cancer..

    You and everyone on this forum have been  amazing and totally gave me the motivation and strength to beat this..

    Thank you and have a lovely Christmas 

    X

    Squeak

  • Hi Maljay

    It is so refreshing to be able to talk about all the feelings I have been having that I have kept bottled up.

    The internet is a wonderful tool for somethings but for anal cancer searches I have felt like I was going deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole. 

    I'm so pleased I found this forum so I can talk to people that are going through thd same dilemmas and feelings..

    My husband and family have been amazing.. I'm so lucky that they are supporting me through this..

    Wishing you a very lovely Christmas and I hope you have all your dates and plan sorted soon so summer next year is something to look forward too 

    • X

    Squeak

  • Tena Lady - great idea, I just used maternity sanitary towels but had forgotten that! Yes, you may well get some discharge and leaky bottom so good thinking. xx