Scared

This is not self pity, it's a natural response to feel overwhelmed and scared whilst going through this... I think we have to ride and feel our emotions. Some days we feel upbeat and positive, other times the immensity of the situation catches hold. You know you can speak freely here any time you need xx

It's natural to feel this way, we've all gone through it! Your family are probably trying to stay upbeat but they'll be scared too! It's such an awful situation for everyone! I actually felt relieved when I went for my appointments, because everyone there was in the same boat! You're certainly not being self pitying,  as Jen says, talk on here anytime, there's always someone to listen!.

Take care,

Moira x

Hi

Please don't worry about feeling like this..

I like you have such a supportive family but that doesn't stop me a times being so very scared..

I know it's hard to talk to your hubby about how you are feeling but please open up to him.. hecwill probably be feeling the same but trying to hide it from you... together you will get through this..

Please keep posting on here.. we have all been through whatever you are feeling and we can maybe help you ..sometimes it helps just to get all your fears out..

You have got this..stay strong but most importantly be kind to yourself 

Xx

Hi PoHo,

Its great to be positive and it sounds like you’re putting on a brave face to protect your family and it’s likely that they are doing exactly the same to support you. They are most likely scared too but don’t want to show it.   
Sometimes you just need to be allowed to express your fears though, as keeping them inside can in itself be overwhelming.  It’s a frightening time waiting for results even if you have great friends and family around you. You are all waiting and wondering right now. 
As Squeak says, be kind to yourself and know that you don’t have to be seen to be positive all of the time.

xx

PoHo

I am so very sorry you are facing this; no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious.  The strain of keeping up a brave face is enormous, and I always tell the story when I was first diagnosed I spent the evening with my daughters.  Like you I was absolutely terrified but when we started talking, we all ended up in tears; they were as frightened as me and were both putting on a brave face.  We all had a good weep, a big group hug and then drank some wine; the relief that everything was out in the open was palpable and none of us ever went back to putting on a brave face again.

My husband did see me at my worst and he is so calm and pragmatic which is what I really needed too.

Please, please don't feel you have to be upbeat; the last thing you need is more stress through bottling up what you are really going through.

Sending you a huge hug, PoHo, I am keeping everything crossed that your news is positive.

Irene xx

Thank you all so much for your kindness. Cried at my mum, husband & sister and feel a lot better. Hugs to you all xx

I’ve found the MacMillan phone line such a great support and if you don’t want to burden your family and friends it’s a wonderful resource to use. Remember that being positive and feeling emotional are two different things we can decide to be positive about our cancer journey and also accept that as human beings we have feelings and emotions which are natural and normal and need to be allowed an outlet. All good wishes to you xx

I can vouch for the Macmillan phone line. They helped me at times when I didn’t want to talk to my husband. My daughters didn’t really want to hear about it but they never said but just found it difficult to accept I had cancer!