Prescribed morphine

Hi Ali, please don’t worry about taking morphine for the pain. When I was struggling with painful bowel movements I would get palpitations just with the thought of going to the toilet. My recovery was during the hot summer (over 3 1/2 years now) and our bathroom window was always open and my neighbour would hear me growling! I read on here that one of the members used to kind of meditate as a means of distraction and I started to sing as loud as I could in my head of course as I didn’t want neighbours coming banging on my door. It does work. When I started taking morphine I had to take every so many hours to keep in my system to help keep me comfortable and I also took paracetamol and ibuprofen alternating every two hours. You must make sure you take stool softeners not laxatives to help prevent constipation. I was worried about becoming addicted and stopped taking them to the disappointment of my specialist nurse. I announced I didn’t need them and then two days later when the last dose left my system I rapidly started taking it again. You will be monitored and you don’t get addicted. I did have a particular large stool once due to constipation and it caused a fissure. That was the most uncomfortable time I experienced. You are four weeks in and the side effects do start to kick in around this time so ensure you have your team ready with creams to help. I suffered from multiple bowel movements and they eventually referred me to a dietitian who put me on a Fodmap diet which was hard at first but did help. I still have to watch certain foods now and chocolate, citrus fruits and bread seem to irritate my gut. I now think about what goes in has to come out and it makes you more aware of the impact food you eat will do with regards to frequency of bowel movements. Try an do some pelvic floor stretching to help keep your hips and nether regions flexible and strong. You have a couple more weeks and then you can stay home without the daily trek to hospital to recover and pamper yourself. Lots of baths and sleep and Netflix at the ready

Hi Ali

There's no rules or time scale as to how you should be coping, we are all different and cope in our own way. I cried quite a bit (still do sometimes if I'm honest). I would cry on my own but also at the radiotherapists and family while telling them I'm fine. I think it's a good release. Sending hugs. Xx

Hello Ali

At the stage you are at now, I used to climb into bed after each hospital visit.  And the only thing I could eat was cheese on toast with mustard and onion - once a day every day!  My husband used to bring it to me in bed, it was the only thing that I could eat as the chemo did something to my taste buds.  So jelly babies, half a sandwich and a full fat Pepsi must have been such a feast!

There is no right or wrong way of coping and please don't berate yourself over frequent tears - you are going through intensive treatment that takes a toll mentally as well as physically and you need to be kind to yourself and let those around you take care of you.

And another memory just popped into my head that I haven't seen mentioned for a long time and had completely forgotten - my bowels were so erratic I used to sleep on incontinence pads, it was one less thing to worry about.

Ten days to go now - they will fly by!

Big hug

Irene xx

Hi Ali,

You are doing amazingly well and have such a positive outlook. The last bit of treatment is quite grim so no wonder you have shed some tears.

From my experience I just want to say that I was utterly reluctant to take the morphine and struggled on without it for way too long. When I gave in and used it, it did help and the relief from the pain was so appreciated that I honestly don’t know why I was so reluctant. Sometimes we expect too much of ourselves. Just be kind to yourself. It’s not forever and it will help.

Just eat whatever you can face and appeals. Jelly babies or whatever. I got by on ginger oatcakes and toast and marmalade and various wierd chocolate bars. 
Pooping glass/ razor blades does get better- honestly.

You don’t have long to go so wishing you ongoing strength for the final run. 
Love and best wishes xx