Hi everyone
My husband is now 8 weeks post surgery for what we were told was T4 rectal cancer, has had his rectum removed and closed and a permanent stoma fitted. We went back to the hospital today to see the consultant who did the surgery and were told the great news that no further treatment is needed. They have removed the tumour, lymph nodes and a section of the bowel. The consultant then went on to tell us that when they sent what they had removed off for testing the results have come back as the tumour "only" being a T1 not the T4 we were told which led to the huge surgery that he has had done. He said there is obviously a huge discrepancy between T4 and T1, that they would be looking in that and that, and did we understand what they were saying? He said that the operation for a T1 would have been considerably smaller and not as invasive, with no need for a stoma, but that there was no guarantee that it would not have led to what my husband had done anyway. We have left the hospital a little confused to be honest, was he saying that whoever read the scans read them that badly that my husband had a much worse operation and a permanent stoma fitted when he didn't need to? That's what it seemed like to us. What he has been through has been horrific and progress after the operation has been slow, with infections, wounds not healing and he still cant yet sit without a special cushion. The wound underneath still has not fully healed and he is still leaking fluid. Fully aware that it could have been worse if it had been the other way round but I wondered if anyone else had experience anything like this?
Hi Mrs Washington ,
Thank you for taking the time to update us, I’ve been thinking of you both.
Once again I’d like to echo what Robin (Phoenix Rising ) has written, I couldn’t have worded it better & although it must be very stressful I’m also pleased you’ve taken the first steps in dealing with this dreadful situation you find yourselves in.
As Robin has stated the ripples from the error made at your husband’s initial diagnosis are indeed far reaching for your husband, yourself & your life together on both a physical & emotional level, this error has impacted & will continue to impact your lives immeasurably.
I’m so pleased your husband was open to accessing some counselling too, I do hope he finds it helpful, often we expect in times of need that we unburden our woes onto those closest to us but I think there’s such a thing as being too close & some, dare I say especially men, tend to find it easier to open up to someone that’s removed from the situation, try not to take it too personally. This whole situation will have traumatised you too so don’t rule out speaking with someone yourself, even if not right now you may find in time to come it’ll help.
As for the incident with the woman when your husband was accessing the disabled toilet people never fail to amaze me with their ignorance honestly!! Although it shouldn’t have been necessary I’m pleased he challenged this silly woman & put her firmly in her place! Please try & keep in your mind that she is in the minority though & obviously has nothing else going on in her life as she has the time to monitor people using a disabled toilet for heavens sake! My eldest daughter has Downs Syndrome & I’ve accessed disabled bathrooms with her at events when there’s been large queues at the regular toilets & we’ve had funny looks from the odd busy-body & her disability is pretty obvious, I just usually stop in my tracks & stare straight back at them until they look away (usually red faced I might say!).
Once the hospital respond to your complaint & your solicitor can advise you will hopefully find things appear a little clearer & that any further action will be lead by your legal team.
Take care both of you, I hope your husbands recovery continues & you continue to navigate your way through, please know we’re here for you both.
Nicola
