So anxious about surgery so scared

Kimj

It is totally understandable that you are so worried, it is a huge step into the unknown.  However, there are quite a few people on here who have gone through the same procedure and once they got over the surgery (and it is major) life is so much better for them.  You have suffered more than enough pain over the past few months and hopefully this is a chance to get rid of this once and for all and for you to be getting on with a fulfilling pain-free life.

Do you have any surgery dates yet?  We are all thinking of you and are here to help in any way we can.

Irene xx 

My poor Kimj, you've been through such a terrible time. I hope your anxiety backs off enough to allow you to consider at least the possibility that this is going to bring you relief, make your life so much better.

Are you getting any help and support for your anxiety at this point?

Hugs

Suz

Hi, I’m really struggling with it all I’m just crying all the time! I’m still in so much pain it’s infected again. I ring my nurse but every time I ring she’s never available an never rings back! Even my friends don’t txt or ring anymore I feel so alone, I’m that petrified about surgery I’m thinking of not having it done I know that sounds stupid but I’m honestly that scared of it.

Hi, I’m so petrified of the surgery! Not got any dates yet he just said after new year! I’m there on Monday to get put to sleep so they can do a biopsy an examination.

Hi Kimj 

Yes, it is such a scary thought to go through this. I had a total pelvic exenteration, so lost my rectum and bladder among many other things and have 2 stomas. It is big surgery, but pain is very well managed in hospital and beyond in my own experience more than 3 years ago. 

I focused on the result of surgery, not the actual process of it, and that helped with my fear. I was in a huge amount of pain beforehand, and hoped I would be replacing that constant pain with temporary pain after surgery and that was the case. I got used to my stomas pretty quickly and they are just a normal part of my life now. Your life will hopefully also be much better after this is done.

Sarah xx

Kimj

I am really sorry you are so alone going through this, and even sorrier that your friends aren't stepping up to be supportive.  But you really can't go on the way you are, things will only progress and this surgery, even though you are really frightened, will hopefully lead to you getting back to normal - a new normal, but one that others on here have said that they have come to terms with.  When you are in hospital having the surgery they will make sure that you have adequate pain control afterwards and they will be keeping a very close eye on you whilst you recover, you aren't going to be sent home before you are ready.  Think about it Kimj, it has to be better than being so depressed and in so much pain constantly.

Please let us know how you get on on Monday.  We are all thinking about you, I am sending a gentle hug.  

Irene xx

Keep us posted about how things go on Monday. Surgery IS scary, but being in the degree of pain and anxiety that you  have for months now are so much worse. Surely you don't want to carry on like this. The surgery will make things BETTER. 

Hugs

Suz

Hi Sarah, what was the recovery like I know everybody is different! I’m really struggling with it all I know it will make me better hopefully but I can’t get my head around it.

Hi Kimj 

My surgery was a lot bigger than what you are facing, so my recovery was pretty long. However, it was worth it and I never regretted having it done. I know you said in another post you were so scared you were thinking of not having it done, but I really hope you can find the courage to go ahead. 

I really wanted my surgery, because I wouldn’t have survived without it, so mentally I was ready to go through it, to go through anything to try and get rid of my cancer. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared, because I was! I just blocked it out so I didn’t scare myself further! 

Have you got support at home when you come out of hospital? I was very tired and weak and needed a lot of help, but as I said I had more extensive surgery so it’s hard to compare. You should have visits from a stoma nurse at home in the early days, and they are a great source of information and advice. You need to rest and not push yourself to do too much as you’ll have a lot of healing to do inside. 

A stoma itself doesn’t hurt, so don’t worry about that. You might find you have very little appetite, and it takes time to know what you can eat in the beginning. I can eat anything at all now but at the start I couldn’t eat very much at all without feeling sick. You need to keep your liquid intake up though. I found that I really turned a corner about 8 weeks after my surgery and things became much better. It might not be as long for you. I was sent home from hospital with a small bottle of oramorph but didn’t use it all. I just had some paracetamol and it was more discomfort than pain for me. But I’d also had my vagina removed, so sitting was uncomfortable for a few weeks with that and my rectum gone. 

You have been in so much pain I don’t know how you’ve coped, but this operation can give you a second chance at living and the thought of the surgery is worse than the reality I think. I can manage 2 stomas quite easily-you soon get into a routine with it and for me the colostomy is the easiest of the 2. Trust in your team, and know they are doing the best for you-I had 3 surgeons working on me and I had faith in each one of them. This can honestly change your life for a much better one than you have now. You just won’t go to the loo in the same way as everyone else, and that’s all! It’s a small price to pay I think. 

Sarah xx