Had enough

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I’m still really struggling! I’m in so much pain no one seems to be listening to me suicidal thoughts are worse then ever I’m just crying all the time, it keeps getting infected so they put me antibiotics the ones I can’t tolerate!! How do people get through this because I’m losing the battle 

  • Hello Kimj, I'm so sorry to hear about your ongoing pain. Is this post-treatment pain? I was certainly suicidal through pain/lack of care/ information. Just be aware that you're not alone, we're all here to support you and perhaps answer some questions. X

  • Hi yes it is I’ve got a big hole in my bum what the radiotherapy has caused I’ve not been able to sit or walk properly since June! I’ve tried to get help but just get fobbed off! Just feel like be better if I wasn’t here every one is sick of me all I do is cry an I’m so upset that my kids are seeing me the way I am 

  • Hi Kim I had surgery in June to remove a anal cancer I also had lung cancer diagnosed at the same time .I had part of my lung removed and then went through the 5 weeks of radiotherapy and chemo tablets . I know the effects are horrendous I find relaxing in warm baths and sitting on puppy pads to let the air heal the bottom really helps xx 

  • Kimj I'm so sorry to read this, how terrible for you. I've had nothing but pain since my treatment finished in January. I asked for anti-depressants and my GP became involved which really changed everything for me. We have tried lots of different painkillers, but the GP has been so good - the hospital "team" is a complete waste of time. I still can't sit, but I can walk and manage to lie & read a lot. Please contact your GP if you haven't done so yet & get some anti-depressants, it's a first step on the road to recovery. Bx

  • Hi they told me I can’t sit in a bath or take the dressing off to let air get to it? Hope your doing ok!

  • I’m the highest dose of sertraline it seemed to be working but since treatment it’s not doing it’s job! My gp put me on morphine but does t have an effect at all! People at my hospital are useless aswel after treatment just seem to let you get on with it, I’ve tried getting in contact with my consultant but can’t speak to him apparently all his receptionist says is contact my gp! All I do is lay down 

  • I'm doing OK they did say to me not to bath but the cool water and fresh air really helped me  

  • Hi  , I’m so sorry that you’re still suffering this way! Have you tried ringing the Macmillan helpline? It may be useful to speak with someone that completely understands the after effects of cancer treatments & they may be able to point you in the right direction for some help. We’re here to offer a shoulder & most of us have been through this treatment although your situation sounds as though it’s affecting your mental health quite severely. 

    Nicola 

  • Kimj

    I am so sorry that you are still suffering so much - I was hoping that you would have been feeling even a little bit brighter with the added sertraline but if your pain isn't improving at all I can completely understand why you are feeling so desperate.  I agree with Nicola, please give the MacMillan helpline a ring, or if at all possible, visit a Maggie's Centre if there is one near you.  The staff there are wonderfully caring and provide a listening ear when no one else understands.  And please, at any time, ring the Samaritans if you feel suicidal; they will give you all the time you need to talk about what is happening, and they won't mind if you ring night after night when you are having your very low thoughts.

    Sending a gentle healing hug

    Irene xx

  • Oh Kim, I'm so worried about you. Please take the advice given here and get in touch with Maggie's or the MacMillan help line. No one should be going through what you are with no support.

    :( Hugs

    Suz