I finally have a start date.
On the one hand I am desperate to start, and on the other I am also dreading it.
In the scheme of things I know I’m lucky. 5.5 weeks radiotherapy, one chemo infusion and the rest by tablet. I know it could be worse and who knows I may come through it unscathed. But, from what I’ve read I think that is unlikely.
It’s strange that as a gay man I feel a lot of shame about having colorectal cancer. I know my sexual identity and sexuality has nothing to do with this disease. I’m just unfortunate. But, talking about it with my family is really challenging.
I have always taken on homophobia and shaming directly and assertively. Being 61 I had to do a lot of that in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. This is just another challenge, so bring it on.
I am going away for a break before it starts just to ready myself and then I’ll come back rested and stronger.
