Treatment starts on the 8/1/25

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I finally have a start date.

On the one hand I am desperate to start, and on the other I am also dreading it.

In the scheme of things I know I’m lucky. 5.5 weeks radiotherapy, one chemo infusion and the rest by tablet. I know it could be worse and who knows I may come through it unscathed. But, from what I’ve read I think that is unlikely.

It’s strange that as a gay man I feel a lot of shame about having colorectal cancer. I know my sexual identity and sexuality has nothing to do with this disease. I’m just unfortunate. But, talking about it with my family is really challenging.

I have always taken on homophobia and shaming directly and assertively. Being 61 I had to do a lot of that in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. This is just another challenge, so bring it on.

I am going away for a break before it starts just to ready myself and then I’ll come back rested and stronger.

  • Hi Craig,

    i finished my treatments (same as yours) on Christmas Eve.  I felt exactly the same as you very keen to start but dreading what was going to happen.

    I can’t say it’s been easy but for the first 3 weeks it wasn’t too awful. I did feel really sick in the first week but that seems to be due to the double dose of chemo, the infusion plus the tablets but that gets better and the anti nausea tablets do work.

    My skin held up until the end of week 4 but only became really bad during my last 4 treatments.now I am very sore but so relieved not to be having any more tablets or radiotherapy.

    Make sure you get a sitz  bath it really helps and the liquid morphine is a game changer.

    i know the process takes 5.5 weeks but the first 3 are not so bad !

    Good luck and keep chatting I got lots of useful help from this forum

    xx

  • Hi Craig,

    I can remember that feeling of glad to be starting the treatment but apprehensive too! Good idea to go away for a few days and try to relax.

    I had no side effects until the end of week 3 of treatment. I had no sickness at all but a very sore derrière. I found things to get worse after treatment but just as I was informed by my Macmillan nurse things improved almost overnight! 
    I understand how you feel about telling people where the cancer is- but it’s a rare one and so the more it is spoken about the better. 
    i wish you well and keep us posted as you go through the journey. Lots of support  and advice on  this forum.

    Best Wishes

    Happyflower xx

  • Hi please don't feel shame like you say your sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with it and even if it did so what. Its your cancer and you can tell or not tell what you want about it. Once you start treatment the time goes pretty quickly and although it wasn't a walk in the park it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. I will be 2 months post on the 6th jan and although things aren't 100% normal in the poo department yet its fine, I'm back at work and the gym. Hope you had a good Christmas and enjoy your break. Good luck for the 8th ( i have a check up the same day). Xx

  • Hello LCraig

    Your post made me feel so sad.  As if you haven't had enough to deal with in your lifetime (and I am delighted to hear how you dealt with it) but please don't add to it by feeling guilty or challenged about talking to your family about it.  I have come full circle since my diagnosis from being straight out there with my diagnosis to thinking this is none of anyone's business.  A lovely forum member said a couple of years ago that it wasn't her job to educate people and my feelings are totally in alignment  with that now, so I don't offer details and I don't want to explain.  It mightn't be right but it is how I feel.

    I hope you have a lovely break and we are here to support you when you get back.

    Irene xxx

  • Hi

    Great you have your start date.. mine starts the 6th Jan.. 

    I'm so sorry you feel shame about having anal cancer.. your sexuality has nothing to do with this awful disease.. having to deal with cancer is hard enough without you having to deal with the feeling of shame..

    Anal cancer is a rare for of cancer but from what I understand is on the increase..and I think the more we talk about it the more the stigma goes..

    For me I had cervical cancer 25 years ago and had a full hysterectomy and I was very open about my diagnosis at the time.. but now will anal cancer diagnosis I've been very guarded with who I have told..even though it's very similar triggers that can cause it..

    My family know and have been very supportive.. its nothing to feel dirty or ashamed of.. most people of our age have sex..most people have had hpv.. most people are not impacted by this and never know they have had it.. it goes out of our bodies.. its just some like us are unfortunate..

    However we are so very lucky that the treatment of this form of cancer is available to us and the success rate is outstanding.

    Try not to worry or put yourself through any more anxiety..focus of your treatment and getting better.. 2025 will be a great year for us all 

    Squeak

  • Hi  ,

    It’s great to hear you’ve a start date for your treatment although I completely understand your feelings surrounding this, I felt the exact same way, I longed to get this thing dealt with but having read some awful accounts of the side effects of the treatment I was also dreading starting! It definitely wasn’t a stroll in the park but it was no where near as horrendous as I was expecting & my recovery was a swift one with just a couple of longer term issues. 

    I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way also, cancer in general is non-discriminatory, it doesn’t care if you’re gay, straight, black, white it affects us regardless & there should be no shame attached. I’m also sorry that you’re finding speaking about your diagnosis to your family challenging but please know there’ll always be a listening ear here from a group of people that truly know what you’re going through. 

    I hope you’ll find it managed to enjoy your Christmas & have a lovely break away. 

    Nicola 

  • On here we are all together. Be comfortable about saying what you want and getting the support you need and deserve from us. We can help each other. I have had so much help and advice that has been so useful that I am hopefully prepared for anything! Take the anti nausea pills from the first day as they do work and as Jet1414 says especially in the first week.  I started preparing by using aveeno cream down under and round my scrotum a few days before. I heard it could help.  Don't be alone  in your journey. Keep us up to date.  Have a good break!  Take Care 

  • Hi  

    thank you for your very kind reply, your insight and your suggestions.

    Your experience of the various treatments offers me hope that it will not be as kind as I hope, but equally not as challenging as I fear. I am being realistic, nothing comes completely free and, as my Oncologist said, several times, this is your first and best opportunity for remission. I am not proud so I will be going to take advantage of any pain and anti sickness med’s on offer.

    I am definitely going to buy a Sitz bath and I have been researching them on-line (oh I really know how to enjoy myself at Christmas time Rofl). Any suggestions?

    I really hope you have had a wonderful festive season, well earned after your treatments ended, Happy New Year!

    xx

  • Hi  

    Thanks for your kind reply to my post.

    I am so impressed by the NHS around my treatment. It took so long to finally get a diagnosis, but once I did everything else has fallen into place very quickly. On Christmas Eve I had my final Pet Scan and unless that throws up something as of yet unknown, it should be full steam ahead.

    My partner tells me to try to take each day of the treatment as it comes, I want a stroll in the park but I am happy to accept something that is not as horrendous as I might imagine. A swift recovery will be nice. I know how lucky I am to live in a country where the health care system is free and it wants to work hard to care for me.

    Learning from your’s, and other’s, honest experiences, is really helpful, actually, really, REALLY helpful. 

    Your point that cancer in general is non-discriminatory and doesn’t care if you’re gay, straight, black, white etc. and there should be no shame attached to it, is really appreciated.

    My family has never been easy to talk to about anything to do with the real me, but to be fair they’ve never been given a choice about it. In relation to this though I am choosing who I speak to very carefully and coming on here is proving to be really helpful.

    Christmas was a mixed bag but I am definitely looking forward to my break away and very definitely keen to get started on this treatment journey.

    Thank you for your kindness.

    Happy New Year.

  • Hi Craig,,

    I bought a simple sitz bath off Amazon it was not expensive but has been very useful. I used it when I started treatments with lots of salt to toughen up my skin and towards the end and now I use it with tepid water to soothe everything.

    I am now 5 days post treatment and everything is feeling much better, still sore but not unbearable. I started taking morphine from the end of week 4 and always take a Laxido to prevent constipation.

    I also used Radiaderm Cooling lotion and soothing lotion (bought on Amazon). I applied the cooling lotion straight after treatment every time and I do think it stopped my skin from breaking down right until the last 4 treatments and it is healing very quickly.

    Stay strong, keep chatting and you will get through it !

    xxxxx