Treatment starts on the 8/1/25

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I finally have a start date.

On the one hand I am desperate to start, and on the other I am also dreading it.

In the scheme of things I know I’m lucky. 5.5 weeks radiotherapy, one chemo infusion and the rest by tablet. I know it could be worse and who knows I may come through it unscathed. But, from what I’ve read I think that is unlikely.

It’s strange that as a gay man I feel a lot of shame about having colorectal cancer. I know my sexual identity and sexuality has nothing to do with this disease. I’m just unfortunate. But, talking about it with my family is really challenging.

I have always taken on homophobia and shaming directly and assertively. Being 61 I had to do a lot of that in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. This is just another challenge, so bring it on.

I am going away for a break before it starts just to ready myself and then I’ll come back rested and stronger.

  • Thank you for your kindness and insight.

    I have taken to telling any one who might need to know or asks that I have colorectal cancer. I’m moving towards using the word ‘Anal’. You’re right there should not be any shame.

     Happy New Year.

    x

  •   

    I have taken your advice and purchased a Sitz bath that sits on the toilet. Being a gimmick junky I purchased the one with battery powered jet. But whether I use that function remains to be seen. It will also probably break.

    I will definitely investigate the cream.

    So much for my 2024 New Year’s resolution not to buy anything from Amazon. Hey Ho needs must.

    Blush. xxxx

  • Hi  

    thanks for responding.

    I can safely say I will take what ever is offered. I really hate nausea (who doesn’t).

    I will look at Aveeno. I am sure I have used it in the past for dry skin.

    I’m not looking forward to the treatment (who would), but I’m very keen to just get on with it.

  • Well done, you will find it a great help especially towards the end. At the start of treatment you can sit in a salt solution which toughens up the skin but when you get to the end of week 4 it’s great for relieving pain and gently cleansing the area. I used Simple Baby Bath Wash, didn’t sting at all.

    xx

  • I did the same, Anal cancer for family and colorectal for anyone else.

  • Great ideas, thank you. I’m preparing myself Dizzy faceDizzy.

  • Hi I started my treatment on 18th Dec and as a hetero woman it’s not an easy cancer to discuss either. Not many people have heard of it or want to make conversation about your bum. I can’t help thinking there are ‘nicer’ cancers to discuss. No one raises money for anal cancer day ….or do they?

    Anyway when people ask I just say it’s a bowel cancer that’s low down. It’s easier for me. Those close friends and my work family in the nhs all know what it is. 
    Good luck for your treatment starting. Let us know how you are getting on. I have found a lot of help and advice here. 
    C x

  • In my case, it is my partner who has Stage VI anal cancer and I'm doing my best to support her. 

    We have been together since teenagers, nearly fifty years. She had very few symptoms and getting the diagnosis was a massive shock to both of us. 

    I think this site is invaluable because so many kind people are prepared to share their experiences. We both feel a bit lost at times with the scale of things.

    I can totally identify with some of the issues raised on this thread. I was sitting outside an oncology ward a few weeks ago waiting for it to open for visits and another chap started up a conversation and then completely out the blue asked me what cancer it was my partner was being treated for! I don't think I would have wanted to tell him it was anal cancer anymore than if it was breast cancer or cervical cancer or cancer of any other site. Instead I mumbled something about not wanting to talk about it. Luckily the doors opened so I could escape!

    I suppose it is good that some people are happy to openly discuss their specific cancer but I totally get what people are saying on here. To my mind there is no shame in anal cancer at all (or for any cancer for that matter) but it doesn't mean everyone wants to talk about it openly, particularly with anyone other than closest family or friends, It is very much an individual thing I think.

    I'm the one who likes to do all the research, my partner just doesn't want to know and I think that is the right decision for her as she finds details too upsetting not least of all because of "too much information" syndrome. 

    Sometimes though, I wish I hadn't researched as much. Before she was diagnosed, I had no idea about even what HPV was/is and now it keeps me awake at night that I may have inadvertently caused this to happen to her. (Not that I know for a fact that  I even have HPV but find I can't help worrying about it in case I do, which I think is more likely than not given what I've read ie HPV linked to many anal cancer cases and given the length of time we've been together)

    I just want to thank everyone for your openness and willingness to help everyone affected cope with things.

    Best wishes to you all for your treatment, whatever stage you are at.

  • Hi Craig,

    As you are starting your treatment tomorrow just wanted to reach out and wish you well for day 1.

    I know it can feel daunting but at least now you are starting after the rather surreal limbo between diagnosis and starting chemo radiation.

    Wishing you all the best for a positive start and very much hope that all will go well. Xx

  • Hi Craig,

    Wishing you all the best for tomorrow, the first few weeks are relatively easy so don’t worry too much.

    And when it gets more tricky the nurses are full of good ideas to help so make sure you keep talking to them and to us in the forum.

    One more recommendation from me, when everything gets sore make sure you have Flaminal Forte cream and Polymem dressings, I wish I had started using them earlier but they really help the healing process.

    Jane x