My husband is undergoing his second phase of treatment for ALL with the philladelphia chromosome.
We have a 1 year old son and live 2.5/3 hours away from family. He was admitted to hospital for the first phase of his treatment and I was living alone with our baby. Taking him to nursery and then going to the hospital (an hour away) then picking our son up and doing the night shifts. It was tough but family would stay at the weekend and I felt like I could see some friends for chats and support. My husband has done so well with the treatment so far and coping with being in hospital and away from our son.
Now he's home for the second phase of his treatment and I'm finding it even more difficult. I feel like I can't do anything or see anyone in case I get sick and pass it onto my husband. He's obviously immune suppressed at the moment and we need to be really careful and I want to be but I'm just really struggling.
I don't know whether I can even take our son to soft play or the farm at the weekends and then I just feel like a prisoner in our home. I feel like mine and my sons lives have stopped and he's going to be missing out on things (me too, to an extent)
Now I just feel selfish! I feel selfish for even considering going out and doing things. For the potential that I might make my husband sick, for allowing my son to miss out.
Gosh, this is just so hard and I'm not even the one with cancer so it makes it even worse that I feel this way. Sorry to rant but wondered whether there is anyone else who feels this way or if I truly am selfish?!
Thank you so glad you’re well and that there is light at the end of what feels like a very dark tunnel at the moment 
