After very unexpectedly losing my dad to kidney cancer in 2021, I suffered massively with trauma from it for about 2 years. It got slightly easier to cope with, but still cant go near a hospital or see/hear an ambulance.
Last Thursday I had to return to the hospital he died in, for my own investigation for symptoms of breast cancer. Not only was the anxiety awful about my own health, but having not been back there since the day he passed it’s returned all the old trauma. Nobody gets it. They think i should be better now it was almost 4 years ago. But all I can picture is my dad during his last days. And the room he was in. And the trauma feelings. I’ve been on half term this week and go back to work tomorrow and I’ve no idea how I’m going to cope. It’s all just awful. I also turn 30 next month and he should be here for it, it’s so painful that he’s not. I wish people understood.
Hi SammyGA
Welcome to our community
I’m Steve, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, I noted your post had no replies but thought I could share a little.
My experience with my dad was different in that he had a long illness and his eventual death was perhaps less traumatic. Dad was Scottish though and something I found was that for some time I became very emotional if I heard bagpipes.
There is of course no right answer for grief but if you think it might help you could try talking to someone at cruse who might help you take a step forwards to whatever your future holds.
<<hugs>>
Steve
