My dad has kidney and bone cancer which has been diagnosed as terminal.
In a very short space of time his mobility has decreased dramatically to the point he cannot walk.
he was admitted to hospital for treatment in the form of radiotherapy to assist with the pain. He has spent nearly 4 weeks in hospital during which time his pain has gone from being manageable to being extreme. The 5 days radiotherapy treatment he received last week has helped with the pain but he is still unable to walk.
the hospital have said today that my dad needs to go home. They got very forceful.
my mum is 75 and cannot care for him. They live in a house and the only access to washing / bathing facilities is upstairs.
the hospital have a duty of care to both my dad and mum but save for delivering and installing a hospital bed there is no other practical support offered.
social services were contacted by us and assessed the home but this was 4 weeks ago and his needs have changed and he is no longer able to walk.
social services say that they cannot deal with a referral direct and that the hospital should make the referral, however the hospital say they don't get involved yet they're chomping at the bit to get rid of my dad - being really quite aggressive. where is the duty of care?
we are being passed from pillar to post and given conflicting information constantly and to add to it my dad has become very belligerent, almost aggressive at times and very unkind to my mum and myself.
He doesnt want to stay in hospital but he doesnt want carers. he says my mum can't do it so what do we suggest?
he doesnt want the bed upstairs or a stairlift yet theres no room downstairs for a hospital bed and no amenities.
How does he get home from hospital? How does he get into his house as there is a step? How does he access washing facilities, the toilet?
Above all how do we reason / discuss things with him. it's his way or no way. he wont entertain anything, gets very bolshy and unkind. all the while we are under ever increasing pressure with no support.
we don’t know his prognosis in terms of how long he has and are finding it incredibly difficult to navigate or plan or for him to talk calmly so we can explore options.
