My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in January. She's had two operations, the most problematic being the removal of lymph nodes which has caused a seroma that has delayed her treatment.
In the two months after her surgery, I was doing everything around the house, shopping, trying to hold down a job. My employer has been really flexible but we're a small company and I've needed to catch up on evenings and weekends.
My wife is on a peak at the moment. She's struggling with her arm and she's not sleeping great as a result. However, she can help around the house which has made a huge deal to both of us. We're waiting for her to start Radiotherapy but Chemo has been ruled out in favour of Abemaciclib. Again, another huge win for us.
Today I've been told I need to go into the hospital for my own treatment. I suffer from Haemochromatosis and need to give blood regularly. I've not had my venesection for nearly 9 months because I just haven't found the time and now I'm endangering my own health. The car dealership have notified me of an urgent recall on my car. It's overdue for a service and the leasing company will hit me with a huge bill if I don't get it done.
My wife has just said to me "You need to plan your time better. I don't start radiotherapy till next week. You should have booked time in for your venesection between my appointments".
It has taken every ounce of self control not to shout "AND WHEN THE (*)& AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WHILST IM WORKING 50 AND 60 HOUR WEEKS TO CATCH UP FROM ALL THE TIME IVE HAD OFF?"
I walked away, and here I am.
I love that people keep saying "It would be good if you could go and talk to someone" like there isn't a huge list of things that already take up time. I get it. Other people have bigger problems. I don't need anything. I just needed to shout into the void. .
Hi Anthony.P welcome to the forum. So glad you found us and so glad you feel better having shouted into the void, we hear you and are here for you if you ever want to talk to anyone. Remember in the midst of all this is you and you need to look after you as best you can.
gail
Good Morning Anthony.P
I can fully agree with Gail (GRANNY59) - let it out - give it a good blast and you feel it's off your chest.
Cancer affects us all - family friends and all our contacts but at the end of the day - you the partner are the one who is left to pick up the pieces - and yes it's hard.
Take time out for yourself - because if you are both ill - who's going to look after both of you. Remember our support line - it's for anyone affected by cancer on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days) - and there's always someone here for you on the Community.
I do hope things are better now - but you know where we are - and we are all with you here.
Best wishes - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
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