I am new to this and this is my first attempt at writing this down. I'm 32 and my wife is 30, she has been battling her stage 4 brain cancer for 4 and a half years. First it was inoperable so she had Radio and Chemo and the cancer was gone...a year later it came back, this time surgery and chemo. That brings us to this year less than 6 months since the surgery she had another relapse. Chemo worked for a time but then stopped so she was put on a new chemo, which her Consultant described as 'her last option'. Her symptoms hit her hard, drastic mobility issues and trouble with speech.
The first round of chemo seemed to very slowly improve her symptoms. Second round was delayed due to bad bloods...again it was delayed, bad bloods....so here we are today, awaiting blood test results so she can have another round. Her symptoms are crippling her, over this past weekend she is no longer able to walk herself at all, barely able to use the loo herself and her speech is become hard for most people to understand besides me.
Both of us are seriously struggling with her rapid decline and she gets very upset when unable to do basic things (for example, pulling herself up in the bed). The ordeal is destroying us. I feel like the last four years have been torture for us (and our loved ones). We have been together for 13 years and married for 2, she is my childhood sweetheart and I could not even comprehend a life without her. I am trying to take on her declining health head on but I feel out of my depth and massively overwhelmed. This coupled with constant fear and anxiety is making it hard for me to keep pushing forward. It is breaking ever fiber of my soul watching her decline. She is trapped in her own mind and her own body. The cancer has only affected her mobility and speech so she is completely aware of everything and trapped.
Not sure what I am expecting posting this but I thought finally writing it all down would help.
Hi JWP and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis and the journey you are both on.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time, I have lived with and been treated fur a rare blood cancer fur over 24 years so I know in part how difficult this rollercoaster can be but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Cancer Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you consider joining and posting in our dedicated Brain tumours support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
It will be an emotional time supporting your wife so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions……. you may also benefit from joining our Carers only support group where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
To connect in with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
When you are ready you can put up your own post by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and provide support from all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
