And still we wait. Husband, fon dad daughter sharing bedside ‘watches’. Yesterdays was long and non eventful. My darling wife just snored the hours away, with zero interaction for anyone. She did smile a murmur when I played themes from the Darling Buds of May, Upstairs Downstairs and As time goes by. But no words were murmured.
She’s so very thin, and has taken nothing in, liquid or solid. Such consumptions are refused in silence. Death stalks her, but won’t claim my darling. Life without her is unimaginable, but this is no life. Its an existence as she sits on a step between living and ….. She can’t go back, but she’s unable to step forward. When will she be freed? Then we can weep and greave. It will be unbearable, but this current ‘existence’ is becoming that to. A land with one foot in living and of dreamed hopes, but with the other foot firmly in death and unbearable loss. As she slowly dies, so to do I ……
Its just as hard for the children But they have their partners. I have no one, just the shattered remains of half a heart. Of loneliness and desire for my own death.
