I’ve returned to this space to hopefully have a good grumble and move on. I’m not one normally to be full of self pity
Today I am and it’s a silly insignificant thing that’s caused me to feel this way.
Well the route of me feeling this way is Cancer!
The only positive from me having bowel cancer was that I was helping research by donating blood to the TRACC research trial. I was the first to join on the morning of my LAR so they took blood and had a sample from the cancer removed and I was number one the first to start after Covid !
Bowel screening picked up a suspect area in lungs!
March lobectomy and wedge right lung
I had a phone call yesterday from the coordinator of the research trial asking how I was we chatted a little while
She asked if the bio came back as cancer of the lung on my answer “yes”
I was told as I’d had another cancer I’m off the trial
I’m so bloody fed up
I totally understand why I am now not right to be there but it’s Cancer that’s done this and it’s really making me think I’m never going to free of it. It’s always there like a Ghoul in the shadows.
Sending some hugs your way for now. 
gail
Exactly it seemed my only thing I was good for to help future generations have a diagnosis with an blood test.
I said to my daughter it was my only positive! She quickly corrected me
“ No you’re positive is it’s binned and you’re still here”
I have to stand corrected but still feel a loss of something good to come from a negative.
I suppose since August 21 Cancers been looming and I’ve been battling, I don’t know how I feel.
Rectal Cancer then a year later Lung it’s like it’s going to keep coming at me and I’m just tired. I should be jumping for joy they’ve said it’s clear margins
Oh lucky me.
But they said that after the bowel and I was overjoyed
Bang another two primary’s on the lung twelve months later
I’m a grump this morning.
Thanks for this space.
sending you a big hug back.
Ann
