Why is asking for help so hard

You are not the only one who has that difficulty, there can be many reasons. I know I found it difficult to ask for help and some who I feel let me down when I needed it most have perhaps damaged a relationship possibly forever. One set of friends though really came through when times were tough and as they say 'a friend in need is a friend indeed'.

Perhaps one of the benefits of this forum is the anonymity, if we get things wrong here then there may seem to be no damage going forward.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi LinziR

It is incredibly hard to ask for help and there is a fear of losing control, letting your emotions out and possibly becoming a burden to friends and family. I’m sure lots of people have said they will ‘be there’ for you but it’s hard to know exactly what that means.

Anyway, I have recently accepted that I can’t do everything for myself and sometimes need help. I discovered that if I say outright what I need, with precise details, to someone I trust they are usually more than happy to help. So many of my friends and family have said they want to help but don’t know how to. I recently had to ask a friend to do some shopping for me and I wrote a list with exactly what I needed, including brand names and sizes, ( I felt really cheeky) and she thanked me for allowing her to be useful.

I hope this helps.

Patmart

If you are afraid of letting the emoti9ns out ( I think..while my husband was being treated I felt as if I was sitting on a box lid full of fear and demons, and if I let the emotions out from under the box lid it took several days to calm down and recover...but I did recover, and in grief I still feel like this...I can keep the emotion locked down to an. Extent, but when it bursts out it is painful  ) maybe....write down very factually the things you would like help with. Keep the emotion out of it if you want to do that.  Then ask ? But I hope you can find someone to hear the pain. Are there Macmillan workers at the hospital ? Best best wishes.