I'm sure you'll be fine

Hi Vulpes,

Well said, you handled it with grace and dignity, which is more than she deserved. 

Since an emergency admission to hospital with pneumonia a few weeks ago I'm finding my defences are low, and my tolerance for such breathtaking insensitivity almost non existent. 

My councellor at the Cancer Care Centre says that three quarters of his time is spent helping his clients deal with other people's reactions to their illness, and finding ways to protect themselves from such onslaughts.

Our time is too precious to allow energy vampires in! Maybe in future I'll say, 'these comments make me feel worse' and see what happens.

Interestingly Tinlay I think you have something there, because last week I had a bit of a day at work and my tolerance levels were pretty non existent, and a relatively benign comment from one of the moms at school pick up made me angry enough that I actually felt like I might be a danger to her! Luckily (for her and me I suppose) I seem unable to maintain any strength of emotion for more than brief flashes. 

More than anything I felt this experience to be so isolating, so deep a chasm has opened between me and the rest of the world, it makes me disconsolate.

Dear Vulpes, you certainly DO deserve top prize n I think the things listed by NellieJ are so apt n "with grace and dignity " says it all Tinalay.

I hope u feel u can still get support here, so u feel less isolated.

Have u got a Macmillan support centre or Maggie's near you if you'd prefer face to face?

Wish I could come n give u a big hug. People can b so unwittingly cruel, it's incredible

Hi Vulpes

Ouch! It sounds like you have handled the situation with grace and you can hold your head up high. I agree with you on memories - we make memories all the time and being in the space of "making memories" stops me being here and now and places me in the future. I just concentrate on having a nice time here, now, in this moment. That's what matters. 

Teenagers as a single parent is not a picnic, I can't pretend otherwise. But it can also be great. I was in and out of hospital last week with kidney trouble, we had to cancel the holiday we were due to go on. My 18-year-old went up to Norwich Pride on Saturday leaving my 15-year-old at home with me. She invited a couple of friends over for fail-to-sleepover. I went to sleep to the background noise of them laughing and woke to find they'd cleared up, loaded the dishwasher and set it to run. Then we all had a jolly brunch. Lovely girls. 

But back to the subject. I have had to sack one friend. I won't go into now but it ended with me saying to her very directly that I no longer wanted or needed her in my life. It was a relief. 

xx

I like the idea of sacking.a " friend" lol

Daloni, I absolutely LOVE failure-to-sleepover!! That made me proper laugh, so apt, I shall be stealing it and using it forthwith!