4 days before my son's 31st birthday, he was diagnosed with terminal, Stage 4 lung cancer.
He had been admitted to hospital 2 weeks earlier with chest pain & breathing problems. The hospital found 4.5 litres if fluid in his left chest that had caused his lung to collapse and had pushed his other organs out of position.
He was an otherwise fit young man, who regularly ran & played football, so they originally thought it was an infection. Daily scans/x-rays weren't showing anything worrying.
The day he was due to be discharged was when they told us that the lab had found cancerous cells in the drained fluid.
That was the day my whole world fell apart.
McMillan have been amazing. They've supported my son & his family with getting PIP & liaised with the local council for additional support. I'm even having 1-2-1 psychotherapy sessions.
Fortunately he's been accepted on to a drug trial being run by The Royal Marsden, in London and the treatment appears to be working. While hus cancer can't be cured, we're all hoping that the treatments will buy him as much time as possible.
However, I'm still struggling. I'm finding it extremely hard to cooe in this new world, particularly with the never ending uncertainty.
I'd quite like to be able to talk to other parents who are losing or have lost grown up children to Cancer. I can't seem to find any in-person or online groups, so have plucked up the courage to post this.
Any support or advice would be much appreciated.
Hi Rifkaleah
It’s Megan here from Macmillan’s Online Community team. I wanted to reply to offer some support whilst you wait for others who may have had a similar experience to find your post.
I am so sorry to hear about your son’s incurable diagnosis. When being there to support a loved one living with cancer it can cause a range of emotions, so I’m glad you’ve found the Online Community. It’s a place to help you connect with others who are going through something similar and a space to talk openly about how you are feeling.
Alongside posting in this forum, there are the following forums that will be useful spaces for you to chat to others, ask questions and talk about how you are feeling.
It’s good to hear you and your son have felt well supported by Macmillan and his health care team. It’s encouraging to hear that you’ve been having some psychotherapy sessions. I hope these have been helpful to you. There may be times when you need some additional emotional and practical support, so I’ll share some information so you have this to hand when you need it.
The Looking after someone with cancer booklet has guidance for how carers can look after themselves while supporting and looking after someone with cancer. This page has guidance to help you access emotional support to financial help.
Another way of finding support is by reading our Community news blogs. In this part of the site, the Online Community team shares members’ experiences, site updates and useful support information. If I may, I’d like to take a moment to make you aware of the Tips for supporting a loved one with cancer blog, which may be helpful for you to read.
If you’d find it helpful to talk or have questions about your son’s treatment, there are teams on the Macmillan Support Line that can support you. They can provide emotional support and practical information. To get in touch, you can call 0808 808 00 00, use live webchat or email during the hours of 8 am- 8 pm every day.
I hope the above information is helpful to you and will help you access the support you are looking for just now. If there is anything the Online Community Team can do to help you use the site and find additional support, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us by emailing Community@macmillan.org.uk or send a private message to the Moderator account.
Best wishes,
Megan
Macmillan's Online Community team
