I'm 31 years old and have always been a mama's girl.
On 3/30 she wasn't feeling well, went to the ER. She was diagnosed with "metastatic colon adenocarcinoma" AKA stage 4 colon cancer. It has spread to her lungs and her liver. Uncurable, Terminal they say.
All of a sudden life just didn't make sense. Why her? She's the best mom in the world and I cannot imagine living my life without her. I am unsure on navigating all of my feelings because I have just shut them off as my focus is her recovery. Ensuring she has a healthy diet, attends her chemo's, and stays active.
I have other siblings who have not stepped up and I feel I am doing this all on my own. My youngest sibling is 13 and telling him was absolutely heartbreaking. I also worry about him and his emotional state.
I am not one to talk about how I feel, but this felt like a safe space to be human for a moment and not the soldier trying to ensure my mom can stay alive.
Dear DayDayDay
I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds really challenging to be helping support your mom and also your sibling. I hope in there you can somehow find space for yourself. We are a UK based charity and there are UK resources I could signpost you to, but I think from the date format you are using and the use of “mom” and ER you are reaching out from the USA? Do let me know if I have got that wrong. This is definitely a safe space to talk to people. I am not a member of this forum as I am not currently caring for someone with incurable cancer, but I didn’t want your post to go unanswered. I have incurable cancer myself, and have had relatives go through it in the past.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
I have metastatic Triple Negative Breast Cancer, in remission
Hello
I totally resonate with you. My most beautiful and precious Mom has recently been diagnosed with metastatic ovarian/peritoneal cancer. There were virtually no signs/symptoms so when we were told, it was like being hit by a train. She is my world and I simply cannot imagine my life without her. Her outward appearance other than some weight loss and her zest for life does not marry up with the gravity of this vile disease. We are all about living for the here and now but I feel like I’m on autopilot, I simply cannot process what is happening It’s all so cruel and I’m heartbroken 
