Everyone in denial

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My Dad has been told he has only a few months to live. He is at home and having palliative care.

Himself and the rest of the family are in complete denial. He keeps talking about how well he is doing and how he is progressing. He has had operations which have impacted his mobility and his mobility is getting better. He is not having any treatment for the cancer which he has been told is progressing rapidly.

Whenever he has symptoms such as tiredness, confusion, loss of appetite he says this is due to other things such as his medication. Everyone around him is agreeing with him and saying this to him too; telling him how much better he is getting. I am pretty sure they are in denial/ avoiding the truth too.

I have accepted what is happening but sometimes I feel I am going mad and just being really negative when no one around me can see it. Sometimes it makes me question whether I am right.

I am worried about him and the rest of the family for when they realize what is happening and how they will manage emotionally. I don't want to point the truth out to him but at the same time, it feels wrong to just agree that he is getting better. I want to spend positive time with him but it can feel ingenious at times when everyone is pretending everything is okay.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you manage?

eddiel 14 hours ago

Hi Sunshinelollypop, and welcome to the forum, though I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, I can understand the situation seems a little surreal, I can be pretty certain everyone knows the reality of the situation, and as a dad in a similar situation, I don't kneed to be told my time is limited, I'd rather focus on what matters most to me, which like your dad will be his family, and trying to be strong so as not to upset them, that's great news your dad's mobility is a little better, so why not help your dad make the most of it, having some lovely time with his family is so important to him right now, there will be time enough later for tears and goodbye's, but right now seeing his family happy is so important to him, and do you really want to waste these precious months being negative, and I wouldn't be taking his prognosis too seriously, many are here long after the time they were told

Eddie xx

Sunshinelollypop 2 hours ago in reply to eddiel

Hi Eddie,

Thank you for your reply. I am sorry to hear about your situation.

I understand what you are saying and I in no way want to just focus on the future and him coming to the end of his life. I certainly don't want to be crying and wishing him a goodbye yet! I want to enjoy time with him.

I am just worried about how he and the rest of the family are coping. He genuinely doesn't seem to realize what is happening. His talked about not believing the doctor and not believing his cancer has progressed. I think it's denial and a coping mechanism.

Thanks.

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