Hello All,
I've been looking at these boards for a few days, plucked up the courage to join in...
In December, my husband (63) was diagnosed with incurable prostate cancer and secondary bone tumours.
It was only in September that he'd run, what would turn out to be his last marathon, he's always been so fit and healthy, never smoked, rarely drank, not overweight.
We're both devastated, of course, though he's not so good about putting his feelings into words, I am a good talker ;)
He started treatment almost immediately, triple therapy, two types of hormone therapy and chemotherapy, which started last week. The first few days were ok, we expected at day 4 or 5 he'd be tired, have side effects, and this has come. He slept a lot of yesterday, said it was like having a hangover with flu, as we've been up since 3am, today looks the same ;) All things considered, it doesn't seem so bad, yet he has already said he doesn't think he'll be able to manage all six sessions (we have 18 weeks ahead of us).
The consultant told me there's perhaps 3/4 years left, but he's fit and healthy otherwise, there could be other treatments later on. I feel my husband's mindset is his biggest adversary and he has given up.
I'm naturally a very positive person, he is not. In December, I was keeping him buoyed up, when he was convinced he wasn't going to leave hospital/see Christmas, his birthday, I was reassuring, giving pep talks, Now I'm just exhausted and tearful.
I feel he has given up, when we are just getting started. At hospital he didn't want to hear about anything, instructed his doctors etc speak to me, and I filtered down what he needs to know. At home, he'd barely made a cup of tea since December, leaves everything to me. I remind him to take his tablets, get a shower...
I am still working, I have a business, can't close my shop indefinitely. Sometimes that's positive, I have something else to focus on, mostly I just want to be with him. I feel like I'm being strong for both of us, and he's not even trying, has given up.
Thankyou for reading, I know there are no real answers, it's just be patient, stay calm.
Hi my husband has just been diagnosed with colorectal cancer that has spread to his spine and he won't let me ask any questions at appointments just wants to bury his head in the sand.His mobility has been affected massively to the point he can't walk without a frame and this has happened in the space of a month.He is starting Chemo next week and I have no idea what this is hoping to achieve as i can't ask.I am doing everything for him like you said ,sorting his meds telling him to wash and brush his teeth ,he just doesn't seem to care about personal care.life has changed beyond all recognition and I don't know how long I can do this for 
