Lung cancer spread to the brain

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Hello, ive found myself scrolling the Internet again, I know it's not great but I just have this constant feeling of wanting to know what's to come. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer incurable in Feb 2024, start chemo April- August, did amazing, put 5 stone and everything was on the up, was told he could have a break and re scan in November and that he would still be here for when my little boy is born in December. Last week he had a fall, went into a&e and now the cancer has spread to the brain, not the news we expected but makes sense with the symptoms we are seeing. I feel like we are back to April again not knowing what's going to happen. The palliative care team has been brilliant, from discussions we are awaiting a second opinion and it looks like he may be able to have treatment to prolong life but even with the positivity, im struggling it's not like before, he isn't himself this time round, you can see how his brain checks in and out again and it's heartbreaking.

Does anyone have any advice on how to stay positive and how I can try to keep it cool talking to the professionals, everytime we talk to them, my dad cries and then I cry but I really don't want him to see that I'm scared too. 

  • Hi, my situation feels so similar to yours and I know exactly the feeling you're describing of dread, fear, and not knowing if you should be feeling hope in the situation. My mum was also diagnosed with metastasised lung cancer at the beginning of Feb 2024; she was on a treatment from March that we thought would prolong her life but it stopped working recently which was a huge shock for us. Her health has deteriorated so quickly and we're in a similar situation to you waiting to see if there are other options for her.

    I think it is really hard to see your dad cry and go through these things and not feel really upset yourself, I always try and stay strong with my mum but then sometimes I have to go away and cry by myself, I think even though I try not to let her see that I'm upset she knows. I don't know how best to help her, whether to be positive or share in our emotions and cry together. I'm sure you do this already but honestly it really helps me to try and give myself positive reinforcement where I tell myself it's okay to feel sad and that it is unfair, but also I am being strong and coping with it as best as I can. 

  • It's such a horrible feeling to experience. Every time he is in hospital my phone goes on loud and I just go to bed each nighy waiting for that call and as much as I tell myself it won't happen it's like I am subconsciously preparing for the worst so it's not as much of a shock