End of life ticking time bomb Pancreatic Cancer

Hi,  Bluewaters and a warm welcome to the forum though sorry you have to be here, I am so sorry to hear about your mum, you should ask your GP  or  district nurse about a referral to your local hospice and their palliative care team,  they will support you and your mum helping to keep your mum comfortable and as pain free as possible and helping you to better support your mum, I  know you can  access carers to be with her at night though I'm not sure how but I'm sure your GP district nurse or palliative care team  would know. I looked after my mum too and know how difficult this time is for you, best wishes  

Eddie 

Hi thank you for your reply an all the information, very helpful.

We cared for uncle in his last stages of cancer. He deteriorated very quickly and it did get to a point that we struggled massively and the night time was very difficult as he still had energy to try get up to use the bathroom but didn’t realise or understand how weak he had become. We were part of the gold line. We had McMillan nurses come in and carers would come in from a different company 4 times a day. The district nurses referred us for Marie curie night sitters to come in and they would offer 3 nights a week so we could have a rest. Eventually he was moved to a hospice as he became a fall risk trying to get out of bed. Don’t be scared of hospice , they are very very good in what they do. They are so compassionate it was a completely new experience where nurses and doctors would actually give you so much of their time and he was in a safe clinical environment. Defo consider this if it is getting too much. Alternatively ask the district nurses to offer some more support they should be able to give you advice. In the last few weeks of care you will also have community nurses come in to check meds etc. it’s not easy so you have to be strong. We asked ourselves the question do we want to be carers or do we want to enjoy precious moments as a neice and sister and take away the pressure of looking after someone at end of life.  When he went into a hospice it was great to actually just spend quality time than to constantly be worried about if we were caring for him properly. Stay strong x 

Hi thank you for reply this has helped alot. X

Hi just read your reply and it has made me feel assured about caring for my husband when the time comes.  He has pancreatic cancer and has survived nearly 2 years after diagnosis with two separate treatments of chemotherapy.  He is seriously considering whether to refuse any further treatment as he felt so ill with the previous bouts.  I have been wondering how we/I would cope as he gets weaker and felt so guilty for even considering hospice care.  Your reply has put me at ease, thank you.

Hi EnglishRose I might end up in a Hospice I hope I dont but I live with my young daughter and I would not want to put her through looking after me if I cannot wipe my own arse. It's a tough call to make but we are all different and its what were happy with at the end of the day . All the Best Minmax 

Hello Minmax - thanks for your reply.  As you say, it’s a hard decision but everyone is different and how people deal with stress is very individual.  I hope that you and your daughter can enjoy your time together as long as possible - kind regards English Rose

Hi EnglishRose I havnt planned on going anywhere soon. I have started off in 2020 with a heart attack then a stent fitted , cancer , all clear , heart failure , ablation , neck dissection , cancer again chemo again , now spread to liver lungs from neck. Feeling good today and every day is a blessing . All the Best Minmax 

Hi

I'm also going through similar with my mum even though she's in a nursing home. I'm in pieces watching her suffer his terrible illness.

Everytime I visit I'm in tears afterwards 

sending support