Last Friday my wonderful husband and I were given the news that he has terminal lung cancer stage 4 adenocarcinoma that is in his lymph nodes and possibly brain. He is only 49 years old.
It’s floored us all, we have 8 children and 12 grandchildren 3 of which we foster due to the mums poor mental health condition.
We were about to buy a house and move and now everything has come crashing down around us. We both have a strong faith but I’m honestly rocked, he is my everything, he is strong, healthy, hard working,
he suffered a pericardial effusion in April, and I knew then it was lung cancer I don’t know how I knew I just did, I didn’t however in my wildest moments imagine it was too far to cure, our family is beyond distraught. He is the strong patriarch who is always so strong and stoic.
He hates medical care and is needle and anything clinical phobic today he had an MRI on his brain and nearly had a panic attack, the radiographers wouldn’t slow down, explain everything and took his glasses off him before he was ready so he couldn’t see anything. This man is not one for crumbling I’ve seen him cope with real stress and grief over the years, but he sobbed all the way home, like a traumatised child - it’s broken me.
He has to have a pericardial window fitted next week and then chemo and immunotherapy afterwards to try and prolong life and shrink the cancer, he’s in agony every morning with pain in his jaw and head, he’s breathless and constantly trying to drink red hot tea to cope with the lymph node discomfort in his upper chest.
I’m juggling so many balls right now, I am a long term disabled due to fibromyalgia I home educate our youngest, with the fostering and all the social services, specialists, court, legal teams, our daughters legal defence for two charges, the purchase of one house the sale of another, organising insurances and pensions etc I’m not sleeping or eating and I’m scared stiff I’m going to lose my best friend and the love of my life, he is literally my everything.
His appetite is next to nothing and yet he would usually eat like a horse, he is so uncomfortable, his voice is going so even having a conversation can be exhausting and frustrating for him. I’m worried he’s becoming depressed (not surprising really), he’s petrified of treatment and the upcoming surgery
where do I start to support him and my children get through this awful tim
Thank you so much for your reply, we are still processing this and the nurses and doctors have been amazing, I’ve been referred for the counselling service and my hubby begins treatment on wednesday x best of everything to you and your family 
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