What next?

Hi Liquidsunshine 

I'm very sorry to read of the death of your brother. It sounds like he was a lovely person. My thoughts on grief are that, it takes a long time to learn to live with their passing on. I would say that you don't get over it but you learn to live with it. I've heard it said that grief is love with nowhere to go. Are there any family or friends that you would feel comfortable talking to? It may help you to get your words and feelings out rather than try to bottle it all up and hide it. If you would rather talk with someone else, consider the Macmillan helpline, they are friendly and supportive and will signpost you to connections that will help you. This is the link to contact https://www.macmillan.org.uk/about-us/contact-us

This forum below will also help you connect with others

 Bereaved family and friends forum 

Best regards to you and your family.

A x

Hi Liquidsunshine, 

I'm so sorry to read about your brother, my deepest condolences to you and your family. Words are inadequate in situations like this. I can tell you really love your beloved brother and he was a wonderful person.

I used to hang out in this and the carers forum but sadly I've joined the bereaved family and friends club. Sadly,  my dad passed away 3 weeks ago from terminal bowel cancer that had spread to other organs. It feels surreal he's gone, I can relate to what you mean, it's difficult to process. I felt like I was having an out of body experience, a bad dream and it wasn't really happening. Then the limbo, sorting out paperwork and then the funeral. My dad was 68 still so youthful.

You are not alone. Grief is different for everyone, I guess we have to find strategies to cope with it. Like Sistermoon said, it's learning to live with it rather than getting over it, it's like a scar that would heal but it leaves a mark, somehow we can still carry on with life knowing that scar is there. 

I don't have any wise words to share cos I'm still dealing with my own emotions. My grief comes in waves and it feels like my dad is still here cos he lives on in my heart and memories. The first week was unbearable, the second week was very emotional, and I'm on my third week and had to go back to work, I can't concentrate and I'm feeling all over the place, can't focus Everyone handles grief differently, whatever you feel, it's ok. 

Like you, I hide my grief from certain friends and family cos I feel like they don't understand me. Luckily I have friends from my meditation group who I can talk to. I also attended a grief workshop, that helped me feel less alone. I know there are bereavement counselling and helplines I could call if I need professional support later. I have a diary writing habit and that's a good place to let out my emotions.

Sending you a big hug, you are in my thoughts. Take care.x