My grandad is 79. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer 8 years ago which has now spread to his bones and is terminal.
This has spread into his ribs, sternum, hips, legs and lung lining as shown in the last scan.
I'm not a doctor but since then he has been for more scans and we are waiting on results but the way he is declining makes me think the cancer has now spread more into the lungs.
Over the past weeks he has gotten worse but still wont take any support from family and we have even tried to get him to speak to professionals and he wont.
He is very tired all of the time and crying due to the pain and feeling depressed. He has no appetite and is generally just very down. We as a family completely understand this but he won't take his prescribed morphine, he won't use something to aid his walking and he is trying to mask the amount of pain he is in.
We are all trying to be there for him and eachother but it is very hard as there are alot of different opinions and emotions. We are all wanting the best for him, some want to get intouch with professional support systems and others dont and my grandad has said no to this as well. This is all causing tension and we dont know what the best thing is to do.
My nanna and grandad argue and bicker more now, i know it's because they are both scared but this isn't the time to be falling out. I think my nanna does need support too, she won't admit but she is struggling.
My nanna has stated she doesn't want him to pass away at home as she doesnt want to find him gone in the house.
I've tried to explain that usually nurses come in to help, he may have a bed downstairs and he will be comfortable and hopefully not in pain. (I've been through this with another family member - a different side of them family, who we cared for and passed at home).
Anyway she wants him to be in hospital/hospice. I'm struggling to deal with this as I think he should be at home when it happens and it's really upsetting me, i know my nanna is in charge but am I being too sensitive to this decision? I'm not even sure how a hospice works, can we visit whenever we want?
We ultimately just want my grandad to know he isn't alone and he has support and to try and encourage him to take his pain meds if he needs to instead of masking it. There isn't anymore chemo as this has stopped this.
Also some advice for all the different opinions for my family: how do we deal with this without falling apart?
