Hi.
I am writing this as I’m feeling confused and lost. My dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer 3 years ago, he had this removed with a stoma bag now fitted. He had the all clear for 12 weeks only. Since his diagnosis as you can Imagen, it has been very up and down with scan results showing his cancer has spread. More recently, he had bad belly pains for 14 weeks, with belly pains, becoming unbearable. He has now been in hospital for 3 weeks, he has a current bowel obstruction. Within the 14 weeks of pain, he was treated for IBS, and it was a “chemo side effect”. He has been told this week they cannot operate on his obstruction due to his cancer. I also feel the hospital have been poor with how they have treated him and us as a family, but this is the situation we are in now.
I am struggling to understand how my dad appears so well in himself, because they can’t operate on his obstruction, he is now end of life. I guess it’s hard to accept as he appears so well outside. He is going home with a plan of hospice care when needed. I guess this is cancer, and what it does, I just was not expecting it to end like this for him. It’s just going to be and is so sad to have to watch him deteriorate with no timescales of how this can or may look. I know the doctors know best with operations and cancer but it seems so unfair. He can’t eat food due to his obstruction and will have all drips. It’s all happened so suddenly, and I’m scared for the future of having to watch him deteriorate.
I guess I’m looking for advice or to speak with others who have been through this with close family or friends. I need to accept this but it’s hard, I assume others would have defiantly felt this way.
Hi KAL12 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I haven't been in the same position as you, as I was the one with cancer, but I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list.
Sending virtual ((hugs))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi
ii can understand ur pain my dad is in a similar situation
he had 2 rounds of chemotherapy (rg cvp) after the second treatment he started with bad cramping pains leading to urinary retention then very loose motions but the drs saying it’s an impaction. Dad 
s admitted into hospital a day before Good Friday since had to medical emergencies since being there first when he had large bleed from rectum causing low bp and blood loss. Then he had drop in bp ain last week Sunday where it took 4 hours by the medical emergency team to stabilise him. Monday he was critical, tues we was told if any other medical emergency occurs he would not be treated. Theyaid at the mdt meeting it was decided he is now palliative and will not be treated with anything other than pain relief and fast track referral will be made to hospice he is still in hospital and it’s sad to say that the nurses are not even carrying any observations or anything. Only on pain relief
