Last few days - advice on how to speak to them when you’re so emotional

No advice..... hope you find a way though,  I was with my Dad when he died....but in denial and I so wish I  had been able to talk about something that 'mattered'.  At least I was there I guess. Best wishes x

Similar situation here. Not my parent but a good friend is in her last few weeks. . I was at my Mums bedside when she passed and I remember finding an inner strength to  tell her she was safe, loved and could let go now. I hope I can do that for my friend as although she may not be able to respond, I am sure she will hear me. Know what you want to say. Take a deep breath and say it, if you get emotional that is ok. They love you so they will understand 

Write him a letter. Say everything you want to say and let him read it or read it to him. I have done this for my dad. I did it when he was diagnosed. I’d never have had time to say the things I wanted to say in person, with every day goings on. He is in an advanced stage now. But he has read it a couple of times now and says he loved it. 

But I am, like you, still worried about what I will say to Dad at the very end. I suppose I’ll know when it comes. God, I hate this awful illness and what it’s done to my Dad. 

My Dad died last month of bowel cancer that had spread to the liver. For the last few weeks of his life he had delirium, which was very difficult to deal with, even with all the amazing support we had from the GP, district nurses and hospice.

But right at the end, in the last few days and then hours, he was much quieter and calmer. And I found that there wasn’t much need to say anything at all, other than telling him that I was there with him, that he was safe and cared for, that I loved him and that I would be OK. I also told him how great a Dad he had been. We were lucky that we had a good relationship and so there wasn’t really anything left unsaid. I think just a calm and reassuring presence, even without many words, is what’s important.