Hi all, this is my first post and like everyone, one I never wanted to make.
Over the last fortnight we were told that, following a successful operation to remove colon cancer in October last year, the cancer is back and is in the peritoneum. The specialist nurse who told us described treatment options and dad was keen to explore the Christies one which essentially removes the peritoneum and flushes the area with chemo. She made it sound like a once and done treatment.
However yesterday we went to see another doctor about the other treatment option of chemo only and she pointed out that because of the heart issues, identified just before the last op, it would be impossible for him to have this without a new heart valve and that would take about a year to get through. Devastated, frustrated and winded are the words I would use to describe the 'vibe' from dad. I don't think I helped when I asked ,'gun to your head, how long has he got?'. She replied that on average 3 months without chemo and 28 months with.
Now my maths isn't the best, but that isn't filling me with confidence that he would live long enough and be strong enough to have the heart and then peritoneum operations. But still they leave him with hope. Am I being heartless?
I don't even know what I expect to get back on this, the pressure on everyone is unreal, I don't want to think about him dying, but can't stand the thought of false hope.
Perhaps I am losing the plot!!!
Hi Nic0709,
My name is Matthew, and I’m from Macmillan’s Online Community Team. I’d like to wish you a very warm welcome to the Online Community, and to say thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s recent diagnosis, and the further news about how his heart condition might impact treatment options. There is no right or wrong way to react to that kind of news, and it is natural to feel a wide range of emotions.
While you’re waiting for some of our other Community members to share their own thoughts and experiences with you, I just wanted to remind you that you are not alone, and Macmillan are here to support you.
As well as peer support from Online Community members, you can also seek support and advice from Macmillan professionals over in our Ask an Expert forum. We have the Ask a Nurse forum for medical questions, and Ask an Information and Support Adviser for questions around emotional support and practical advice. After posting your question, a Macmillan professional will then aim to respond within 1 to 3 working days.
If you would find it helpful to talk to us directly about how you’re feeling, our Macmillan Support Line teams can offer emotional support, every day from 8am to 8pm. It’s a confidential space, and our advisers can point you to further avenues of support as well as simply being a listening ear.
To get in touch, you can call 0808 808 00 00 for free, send us an email, or use our live webchat service during our opening hours.
For tips on using the Community site, please check out our Help Pages. To reach the Online Community Team directly about using the Community site, you can email us at community@macmillan.org.uk, or you can send a private message to the Moderator account.
Once again, I hope you will find the Online Community supportive and helpful. You are not alone!
All the best,
Matthew
Macmillan Online Community Team
