Feeling alone

I’m so sorry to hear how alone and sad you are feeling, but your emotions are understandable in the circumstances. I’m new to this forum so I’m hoping others with more experience may be able to offer more advice than me, but just wanted to let you know I read your post and hope you find some help on this forum. Don’t best yourself up for your feelings, cancer is hard not just on the person with it, but those who love them and feel a bit helpless in such difficult circumstances. 

Hi Lilnanny,

           I'm new here so have just read your post, just wanted to say I have exactly the same feelings as you. My wife has incurable cancer and has just finished 6 cycles of palliative chemo. 

 I think everyone feels selfish I certainly did but don't forget you are going through this as well. The worst thing for me was when people were saying you've got to make time for yourself but what they don't realise is it's not as easy as that you can't just leave the person that's suffering and say ok I'm off out for a little bit of me time. 

  I'm 56 and my wife is 53, we both had good jobs and were planning our retirement now all that is sort of on hold. I have now took retirement and my wife who is a nurse is applying to retire through ill health. Luckily we have no money worries but all the plans we had are sort of taken away, which is probably how you feel about you sister and friend.

 I know this post has been on a while but I hope you are feeling better.

x

Hi, 

Thank you so much for your kind words, I appreciate that so much, and I am glad someone understands and I am so sorry to hear about your wife. Cancer just turns your world upside down. You are both in my prayers.

my sister and my best friend passed away two weeks ago, just days after each other. So I’m going from overwhelming feelings of grief to feeling numb, angry, sad, etc etc. 

I don’t have any more words, but really Thank you 

Thank you so much, wise words and so helpful right now. My sister and best friend passed away within days of each other, their funerals were this week. 
Lots of feelings and then mostly numb.

im trying to just hold things together right now. I appreciate your response. 

So so sorry to hear of what you and your family / friend are going through right now, I think its important to know you have a safe space here - I can say just from joining this community the last month, it has been a huge help with getting things off my chest that maybe people can't find words for in person, of course nothing that we say can make this go away but being able to express yourself is so important for your own well being, also wondering if you have reached out to ask for any bereavement counselling? Or have you tried phoning through to Macmillan? I have also done this a few times and it in a sense is easier than speaking to people you know because you can offload completely without worrying about it. Sending you a big virtual hug - Katie xx

Thank you, I will try the helpline and Councelling may be a good idea. Thank you for the hug xx

So sorry to hear that about your sister and friend. You're right cancer turns your world upside down and until it happens to you I don't think anybody gets it. I know it's easy to say but stay strong and if you ever need to vent your feelings or anything to someone who understands just message me. x

Thank you thats very kind of you. I hope you are holding up as best you can and I am here to listen to you to. Sending hugs and prayers for you and your Wife. X 

Hello, I am so sorry to read of your losses, I am currently going through treatment for Myeloma and I have 2 daughters a brother and friends who rally round I am so thankful for them and you must remember that your sister and your friend would be so so grateful and thankful that you were there for them. I lost my Mum last year to cancer so I also know the other side of the coin the grief is at times unbearable. Take care xxx

Hi 

Thank you for your understanding, yes the grief is unbearable at times and so overwhelming, my grandkids and kids keep me going, I Thank God for people who can relate. I’m finding it difficult at times and feel numb, also I’m finding it really hard to recollect memories, it’s like my mind won’t let me. 
have you experienced this or anyone else ? X ️