After my dad (just turned 62) started to become lethargic and generally unwell he went to the doctors who did the normal routine checks. After a scan he was then told at the start of 2021 that he needed a heart valve replacement. Due to COVID this was rescheduled multiple times and didn't take place until September 2021. Obviously a concerning time for us all but he recovered well and day to day life continued.
Forward to April this year and my mum turned up on my doorstep, daffodils in hand and broke the news to me that my dad had been diagnosed with incurable cancer (head and neck).
The anaesthetist from his heart surgery had said my dad needed to be referred as he could see a tumour when incubating him. This was the end of September and a diagnosis was given in March sometime (my dad hid it from us for a while), still, 6 months from the heart surgery to a cancer diagnosis.
We were initially told that my dad would be on palliative care and nothing could be done. Fast forward to now and he has just finished his final round (sixth round, some cancelled due to low blood cell counts) of chemotherapy (they wouldn't do radiotherapy due to the location of the tumours). He has also just been told that he has a multitude of gallstones and a scarred gallbladder so is due gallbladder removal surgery. When asked if he was getting any pain he said he thought it was indigestion! (Does not like a fuss my dad).
My dad was raised in a family that didn't show emotion or affection and by the age of 26 he had lost both parents. He doesn't tell any of us (my mum and two older brothers) about how he is feeling. He has little interest in doing anything, isn't bothered about days out or doing things he has never had the chance to do, is adamant he doesn't want a funeral, no fuss whatsoever. We can see he is unwell, lost weight, hair changing, changed voice etc. He is set in his ways but I want my dad to enjoy whatever time he has left with us.
This Monday just gone he had a CT & MRI scan and we are waiting for the results. I don't think we have or ever will come to terms with the thought of losing such a wonderful man from our lives.
Although he doesn't talk much, he will never let me leave without a hug and a forehead kiss. I am 29 years old and revert right back to being a child when those moments happen or when I think of him not being there.
I suppose I have a multitude of questions but also no questions at all. I just want to share my story.
