Hubby's diagnosis

Hi, maybe  court will have some suggestions, as she is a carer for her mum. Xx

Hi Muriel

Welcome to the forum . Difficult days for sure . Different set of circumstances as it was my mum who had a spread to her liver but my dad had a stroke two weeks before her diagnosis and could not help . My kids were 7 and 9 at the time so I moved them in decided that was the only solution to allow me to be there for everyone. However after six months things were in a different position and they moved back home .

The best advise I got was from a patient . To keep your mind where your body is . Not letting it go down every possible worst situation. I got up in the morning and would think “ what is required of me today “ not tomorrow or the next day and that was sufficient to get me through . I had big fails along the way but I was slowly learning to live without overly planning for the future,

Bowel cancer actually has a lot of treatment options despite a spread to the liver . If you click on my user name you will see my mum’s story . Chemotherapy was actually very effective for her and she made it to liver surgery twice .

You do get into a routine with chemotherapy and it actually feels slightly better as you feel something is being done to treat it . Despite not being curable there is a sub group of patients that respond well to treatment. They do reassess and add in other options where possible

. https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/bowel-colon-rectum-cancer-forum

You might find this thread helpful as others have pulled together some tips for coping with chemo side effects .

https://bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/Publications/TreatingAdvancedBowelCancer_BowelCancerUK.pdf
This leaflet explains the different options open to oncologist when treating a spread . They initially try and stabilise the disease and if they can gain some shrinkage . Not everyone gets this but a subgroup of patients continue to do well despite a difficult diagnosis. My mum

is coming up 13 years this summer despite her having a spread to the liver . 
Not easy on your children either 0808 808 0000 could point you in the right direction to access support for them too if required .

Take care ,

Court 

Thankyou, very good advice. I am a big planner and have been down some truly awful scenarios in my head. I will try to take each day as it comes.

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/bowel-colon-rectum-cancer-forum/f/bowel-colon-rectum-cancer-forum/221768/chemo-care-top-tips--
This is the right link to the chemo top tips . If you like to plan you can channel your skills in this thread . 

You are certainly not alone in your thinking but we decided to consider my mum living with a difficult diagnosis until the Drs told us there were no other treatment options . That really helped us find some stronger ground and that actual conversation did not occur . 
I am not sure the size of your husbands spread but my mum had significant disease from segment four through to 8 . However 1to 3 were clear and she ended up going to a centre of excellence for the liver and getting 73% removed . Chemo did a powerful job for her .

You also might find some useful tips on the bowel forum .

Take care ,

Court