My mum was diagnosed with Primary lung cancer secondary Liver on 24th January we as a family are in total shock she has always been fit and healthy the nausea and retching has eased as a steroid has been added to the anti sick in the syringe driver, she has been in bed for 15 days only getting out of bed to go to the loo and is hardly eating or drinking she has lost so much weight and looks s frail. This weekend since the steroids/anti sickness have finally started working she has managed to have a shower some food and has even sat out in the garden We we’re told we were looking at weeks but given how she looks now do you think it could be longer? I spoke to the palliative nurse but she didn’t really answer my question just that we need to try and get mum comfortable and let her enjoy the time she has left.
I am catching up with posts on here and noticed this post is unanswered, I am sorry about that.
How are you, how is Mum?
I am sorry about your mum. I’m so sorry that I don’t have any answers regarding time left but wanted you to know you’re not alone in wanting to know when.
My brother is also now bed bound with a syringe driver to ease his pain from terminal lung cancer, which has gone to his liver. He’s wasting away from not eating and it’s heartbreaking.
He has schizophrenia and lives in a home. The home have been amazing as they are doing their utmost to keep him comfortable and treat him in situ with the help of palliative and district nurses. Goingto a hospice would be too traumatic for him, as he gets terrible anxiety and needs the familiarity of the staff he knows. I have been blown away by how kind and loving the staff have been with him.
It’s the most cruel of illnesses , it’s heartbreaking to watch our loved ones decline.I don’t think anyone can tell us how long they have. It really is a case of every moment we get with them is precious and I’m trying to spend as much time with him as possible.
I hope your mum is kept comfortable by the meds and your love.
Sending you strength and a huge hug
Hi mum still with us and was doing well coming down stairs sitting in the garden and enjoying her food and then the syringe driver was taken out as she was doing so well, BIG mistake 2 days later she was back to square 1 GP came out and put the driver back in and now 2 weeks later we are getting the right balance of meds she is so frail needs help walking to the bathroom can’t come downstairs and is hardly eating The last couple of days have been good back to her old self today she even said she felt like a fraud sitting in bed being waited on like a queen because she feels good no sickness no pain and eating a little bit more I said to her this is how it should be she’s even reading a book as I type this days like this I will treasure for ever ️Thank you for asking about Mum xx
Thanks for the big hug. So glad your mum is having some good days : )
Most definitely need a hug today. I’m sat with him now and he is in and out of consciousness, his breathing is so laboured. Hoping to speak with district nurses later to find out more.
hoping he is taking in some of what I’m saying, have brought old family pictures but not sure it’s registering.
anyway here’s to treasuring the small moments
Hi Ju65Thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
I managed to rush to be by his bedisde last night. I was able to walk into his room , hold his hand and tell him how much I and his family loved him and that everyone in his care home loved him too. That was so evident in how they went out of their way to care for him and keep him there, despite it only being a home for people with Severe Mental Illness.
I reassured him not to be frightened of dying and that he had always been so kind and caring to everyone, who had the privilege of knowing him, that wherever he would go to now, that he would be cared for and loved still.
He then let go of his struggle and his whole body and face relaxed. I feel so privileged to have been there with him to try and comfort him. It was my biggest wish that I could do that for him, it was like he had been holding on to see me and hear my voice.
I am relieved he is no longer suffering and is at peace, however I will miss him dearly.
I have learnt so much from him about how to be kind, gracious and forgive. He instantly forgave me for not being there for him over the years, due to my mental heath having been affcted by tragic life events.
We understood each other, as he had schizophrenia ( he was sectioned when I was 11) he suffered with terribly with anxiety,as I have done over the years. He said I destreesed him and reassured him when he was anxious.
To anyone else who is reading this, please take heart from knowing that your presence, when your loved one dies, is very much appreciated, even if they cant talk to tell you that. Just tell them everything you and others love about them and send them with as much love as you can to the other side, wherever that might mean for you.
Hope things are going as smoothly as possible for you Ju65 and that your mum is still comfortable.
Lots of love