Im new to any support group but the time has come where im lost.
My amazing dad was healthy until he was hospitilized with covid then we got the news he had terminal cancer.
He was able to receive a New Trial Drug which has given us extra precious time with him. Obviously nothing last forever but still grateful.
Time did come where the cancer spread and now we wait and watch him deterioate as they cannot do anything more.
I am a very positive person even when its tough but now its becoming very hard. My stomach is in always in knots, anxious and worried all the time. Its so hard to stay strong. But i do, for my mum as she relys on me for support.
i know its only going to get worse.
I say to myself how do i express my sorrow, anger and i just cant seem to accept that he will be defeated. Is this wrong?
People say take it day by day but its not its every second,minute.
Sorry for the long essay. X
Hi Hopex
a warm welcome to the online community. So sorry to hear about all that you, your family and your dad are going through. Nothing prepares you for that news.
My husband received a terminal diagnosis in Sept 2020 so I can empathise with the emotional journey you are on. For us as a family it was a total bolt out of the blue and in 3 short weeks our world changed forever. Telling our kids (now 22 and 24) was heart breaking.
There's no magic answer for how you get through this. Lord I wish there was. All I can say is how I get through the day. I take each day as it comes. On the bad days I take it hour by hour. It's the strongest and most resilient among us who show our emotions (honest!) so its ok to be anxious, tearful, (I've cried bucket loads) and angry. This is a huge emotional journey for you- its just a different one to the one your mum is on and the one your dad is on.
Make time for "me time". Do the things you enjoy that help make you feel like you. Go for that walk. Go to the gym. Meet those friends for coffee. Listen to music. Read a book. I find journaling helps me too. Once I see those fears and feelings written down they seem somehow less scary.
It’s always good to talk so remember you can also call Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
this group is a safe place to open up so please reach out to this community whenever you need to. There's always someone around who gets it and who can offer that virtual hug.
For now I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive vibes. Stay strong. You're doing do much better here than you give yourself credit for.(You'll just need to trust me on that)
love n hugs
Wee me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
