We are getting up to one year since my husbands problems started, he had what we thought sciatica down his left leg and that was so painful for him. He then had shortness of breath and spoke to a doctor and was sent for a chest x/r, the GP rang the day after telling us it was either pneumonia or lung cancer, talk about putting the seed in our brains. It turned out it was lung cancer and at stage 4. Still he continued with this pain down his left side, they kept saying it hasn’t spread but after I knew there was something more to it they eventually did a CT scan and our world fell apart for the second time as now he had mets in his spine and left pelvis. They tried radiotherapy but that didn’t work, he had chemotherapy x 3 and then he couldn’t handle anymore so they stopped but a scan showed it had reduced the tumour in his lung and also in his spine. Things seemed fine for a while then he fell in the hospice and he then started with pain down his right side. We asked the oncologist if he could have a scan to see if the cancer had gone to the right side but he said no. I find it so difficult to understand why if someone is in lots of pain they won’t scan them to find out what is the cause. He is in awful pain and all they are doing is messing about with his tablets to see what might take the pain away. The problem there is so many side effects, he is sleepy, confused, hallucinating and it is breaking my heart to see time like this and in so much pain. Then the last time he went in the hospice he came out with covid and is still positive a week later. I can see he is getting weaker. I am upset, angry, heartbroken, unsure how much longer I will have him. My head is all over the place, I am having to be his career now and miss being his wife. I am trying my best but some days it doesn’t feel enough. Are my feeling natural lot am I over reacting, sorry for moaning on but I feel so lonely
