Is it weeks or days we have left

Dear Heidi2010,

I am sorry to read your sad post.

Don`t take it to heart if your mum say`s something or has a go at you, the chances are it is the pain relief drugs that are to blame.

Do you have a community nurse [ district ] or a palliative care nurse? they are a great team that do a wonderful job, they may be able

to advise if hospice care would be a good route to travel.

To put a time on passing can be very difficult, but you give a few signs that are not good ie not eating and drinking.

Keep in mind you can only do your best, do not be scared of mum passing while you sleep, if that is the way the story ends it was the

time.

I am no expert but very shallow breathing is another sign the end may be near.

Try and stay strong, I hope this helps.

John

Thank you for your reply   yes we have a fantastic palliative team and some lovely cares coming in every day, I just feel overwhelmed by it all, 

I want to respect my mums wishes and make sure she stays home, even if I feel I'm not coping, 

I look at my mum, but it's not her anymore,  every day there's a little bit less of her, and it's hard to watch,  but all I can do is my best. 

Thank you John I will try and stay strong 

Dear Heidi2010,

It is good that you have a great palliative care team, it helps take away a bit of the pressure.

You are doing what your mother wants, she is still at home so you are coping, you have not given up on her,

you have my respect and I feel your pain.

As you look at mum try and consider things from a different angle, she is still your mother, this is not the way

she would want the story to end, and not the way she would want you to remember her.

This is the most difficult part of the process, so much you want to say and do, if only we could go back

12 weeks 6 months a year, it is very hard.

You are in my thoughts.

Big Hug.

John.

Hi, this is the reason i have just joined the group. I seem to be in exactly the same position as you. Mom has gone downhill in the past week or two..not eating etc. And also snapping at me when we have always been so close. I too feel helpless. You are not alone sweet x

I'm in a similar boat to you, my dad went very downhill before Xmas, wasn't eating, drinking, taking meds, he was sleeping constantly and unable to hold a conversation. We were told that this was end of life symptoms.. currently he is eating and talking just like his normal self, he has surpassed his life expectancy. So I'm here to tell you it can all get better! It's possible she can pull round, just keep positive and be there for your family, and they, for you too