Dad's chemo paused and now radiotherapy

hi Link103,

im so sorry for your suffering here. A year ago I was in a similar position with my dad and it’s just heartbreaking for you. I’m so sorry….

I’m not an Oncologist but if I was taking chemo that wasn’t as effective as first hoped then maybe a second round would be best avoided given the side effects. Although that might sound like the end of treatment remember people are getting good results with palliative radiotherapy all the time.

However, it’s not without side effects either and I don’t know your dads situation but with incurable cancer I’m sure there comes a time when it’s better to go for quality over quantity. This doesn’t mean giving up it just means improving the quality of the time your dad has left.

im so sorry if this is of little help lovely but I’m here if you need to chat anytime.

 Sending much love to you,

Louli xx

Hi Louli,

Thank you so much for your reply.

My dad is still in hospital. I havent been able to visit him since Thursday as it's really tight restrictions because of covid, but my mum has been able to see him.

She cried for the first time on front of me since his diagnosis yesterday, several times. She is worried that he isnt coming out. The dr said on Thursday though that he would hopefully be discharged this weekend or early next week.

It broke my heart to see my mum crying. She said she misses him so much. I stayed with her last night, but I have to go back home tonight (I love about it mins away) as I have work tomorrow. I hate the thought of leaving her if he doesnt come out today. I dont know how I am going to leave her. I love them both so much.

I was hoping that the first few weeks of chemo would be okay, and the thing I was worrying about was the CT scan to see if it was working, which I guess would have been due in about a month or so.

I'm not sure the chemo wasmt very effective or not really, because I think the reason they have paused it is because his tumour was bleeding and tje chemo wouldnt stop that quickly enough. The loss of blood was making him dizzy.

I really dont know how to cope with how awful it all is. I'm so sad about the thought of losing my dad, and I'm heartbroken at the thought of my mum being on her own.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope you have have some supportive people around you to help you through everything. xx

Awe I feel for you all… maybe chemo interfering with blood clotting and caused bleeding … don’t know but get him home ASAP.
This Covid is a blooming nightmare. I cared for my dad at home during last lockdown for 3 months and my very frail mum was in the care home and they spoke every day on the phone. After 62 years of marriage they didn’t get to say goodbye or hold hands. I don’t think I will ever get over the cruelty if that. Your mum and dad need to be together at this time if at all possible. 
I had no carers to help but I had a dear friend who came to stay the last few days which was so great.We had some great laughs as well during that time which I cherish. Humour is allowed and is impoant too especially for your dad. my dad actually helped me through it because like you we were so close. Yes there was immense sadness but it was what it was and the cancer didn’t stop us making a f wee special memories. Much love to you and your lovely mum