Just need someone to talk to...

No - you’re definitely not being selfish at all.  You’re just being human and feeling exactly what everyone in your shoes feels in this awful situation.

 I’m going through the same feelings with my husband as he’s stage 4 bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver.  He’s been referred to the local hospice for care as there’s nothing else the hospital can do.   It’s really hard seeing someone you love in pain and fading away.   I’m trying to make the most of the few weeks he’s got left, but also thinking about “afterwards” and how on earth I’m going to cope.  

Just be kind to yourself and keep being there for your mum and make the most of the time left.  I get it’s hard to do this at times, but even watching a favourite film/listening to music/organising a visit from a friend will lift both of you.  In terms of care, the community nurses will be able to guide you through what to expect and answer any questions you have.  

My husband and I go to Maggies regularly and they’ve helped us with the emotional side of things.  I’d definitely recommend support if you haven’t done this yet.   They can also help with some of the practical aspects such as funeral planning and wills.  My husband’s not quite ready to plan all the details for his funeral, but I know some friends who found it helpful to choose the songs they wanted played and decide on a coffin.  Sorting out the will has been helpful as that’s put my mind at ease financially.  Maggies also have living with stress course for carers which has helped me enjoy the time we have now, rather than let my fears overwhelm me.   It still happens of course and I cry every day, but I have ways of grounding myself (like taking a walk or run)  and keep going by taking one day at a time.   

Take care x