I'm losing my mum

Me23xx - I am so sorry your mum has this diagnosis.  It is certainly devastating at the beginning.  My husband was diagnosed with a similar prognosis just before Xmas.  The best thing to happen to him was a stent was fitted to by pass the blockage and it allowed him to eat.  Perhaps that will happen for your mum too.  Equally chemotherapy was started and indeed continues with some side effects but all manageable.  So we are 6 months in on chemo and 9 months since symptoms started so perhaps your mum will be as lucky as my husband.  Palliative care does not mean she will die next week it just means there is no cure so the illness must be managed.  

my story is positive I think.  I would use this time to establish what is important to you and your mum and talk about it all.  I lost both my parents before I was 30 so I empathise with you there but you will manage.  A strong mum raises a strong daughter.  Make her proud.  My very best wishes to both you and your mum.  Janeyc

Thank you for this positive (and beautiful) reply.

We are hopeful Mum can have some form of chemo and i think the stent fitting would be ideal if she is a candidate.

She's currently in hospital as she has some sort of infection somewhere, the deterioration with the infection was scary and sad.

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis but pleased to hear the outcome so far.

A friend today told me I need to accept the inevitable and can't lose my s*&t everytime mum takes a turn, I understand what he is saying but at the same time think it's only been 4 days since that diagnosis and I am entitled to adjust to this news!

I have a daughter myself, and I want to raise her strong, I know that's how my mum raised me x

Im so sorry to hear about your mum i know the feeling i thought i was way to you to lose my mum at 31 now i am going through the same with my dad we all need our mums i think the best way to support your mum is to be there and listen if she needs to talk about things and try to put a positive thing on things im really hoping that there is a positive outcome for your mum miracles can happen.

Its completely fine to put a brave face on when you see her then when you are alone to crumble this happens to me almost daily but please know that you are never alone 

Thinking of you and your family xxx

Thank you for this. Mum has returned to hospital due to low oxygen levels /signs of an infection - the cancer has already aggressively spread to her chest wall, the palliative care team feel she has 'short months' with us.

Though I'm not entirely sure what that means the deterioration in Mum over the past week has been somewhat terrifying and I feel it is setting us up for how this will go.

I am taking your advice, mum is angry, at the world at the situation, I am telling her that's okay but right now she is still here, we have a chance to create lasting memories and to try and push through the emotional/physical pain.

I haven't completely fallen apart yet ... I think I'm scared of what this will look like if I'm honest., but I know I won't do it around Mum.

I'm so sorry for your situation, I can't imagine how you are feeling and I'm so grateful that despite your pain you came on here to help me.  Xx

Hi

sorry to here about your mum, I’m the same but with my dad. He’s rapidly gone down in a week from walking up his stairs and putting himself to bed to a week later being in a hospital bed downstairs and not being able to do anything for himself and sleeping all the time. Ive had to move in and with help of dn and Marie curie I’m now a full time carer. 

im angry and devastated but like you don’t do it in front of dad, let the angry and tears roll when you can x

Mum suffered a major stroke on Saturday night due to the blood clotting issues from the cancer, she has lost ability to move the left side of her body. Her lungs are filled with clots.

The scans show the cancer further spread, we are now in a hospice and they tell us she will pass any time now.

8 weeks ago my Mum had stomach ache. We are now hours from certain death.

Cancer is beyond comprehensible 

I am so very sorry me23xx.  You must be in turmoil.  Your mum will know how much you love her.  Her guidance and wisdom will be with you always.  You are the daughter of a warrior.  Stay strong.  Yes, cancer is beyond comprehension. My very best wishes to you and hopes that your mum is comfortable. JaneyC

I’m am so sorry to read this, cancer is beyond comprehensible and such a cruel disease which can move so rapid,  the nurse have given my dad days now and it’s gut wrenching and further beyond any felling of devastation.  I was told that he will live on through me  and I hope that can eventually bring some comfort to you, that a piece of your mum will be forever with you. I will be thinking of you x