How do you know when they're at the end?

So sorry to hear what you are going through with your mum and all of the uncertainty you are facing.  My husband is currently battling stomach cancer. One of the things that has helped us both was being referred to the community palliative team.  I will admit being terrified at the prospect of my husband needing this so soon after diagnosis but it has been the most positive and stabilising experience in amongst a horrible time.  His nurse was able to get his pain under control and helped us to understand so much more about how to manage symptoms and has been a real advocate when more needed to be done.  If you are not already in touch with your local palliative team you should be able to get a referral through your GP or oncology nurse at the hospital.  I hope this helps you in some way xx

Hi

I’m so sorry to hear your situation. I am in exactly the same place. My mum has finished treatment and is now in excruciating pain and there is nothing else they can do. She has been discharged from hospital with steroids and strong painkillers, but now it just feels like that is it and I’m not sure what is going to happen next. Nobody seems to be able to provide any answers, which I understand to an extent, but I feel that surely there must be some indication of whether she will be with us for weeks, or months? I feel frightened that things are going to go downhill really quickly, as they already are doing, but feel I need to know a more clear idea of where we are with things to prepare myself mentally, and also make practical plans for her care and needs. I feel quite lost, but I’m not sure how we are able to get a clearer picture x

Hi darling, I can imagine how you feel, I’m watching the love of my life slowly disengage from life.

When I saw how much more pain he was in  I phoned our doctors practice, spoke to receptionist to explain, she said write it all in an email and she’d then forward it onto Gp. Go phoned us that night and explained that he would refer Mart to Rowcroft pain management team and whilst waiting for them to contact us, he increased dose zomorph and oramorph, so at least he could be pain free. He was also examined at our local hospital by Devon doctors, to make sure that the additional pain wasn’t down to an infection or something else.

Rowcroft went through all the pain meds with me, only change really was the suggestion of the addition of paracetamol, she’s ringing tomorrow to see how he’s doing.

Maybe contact your mums Gp and explain you want her referring to a hospice pain management team  I know many people on here have said once they had hospice support they felt so much better.

I hope your mum gets the help she needs, she’s certainly lucky to have you. 

Take care, be kind to yourself xxxx