My husband has been told his stage 4 kidney cancer with lung mets is non currative and treatment is aimed at reducing symptoms, shrinking the tumours and pro longing life, however, no one has said it’s terminal. Medically speaking, is there a difference?
He hasn’t started treatment yet but will be very soon, and he is generally fairly well at the moment, still working, gone to play golf this morning, so it’s hard to comprehend that this can’t be cured and he will die from this at some point, hopefully we have years, not months.
But how do you carry on being positive when you know the end result is always going to be an early death. ( he’s in his 40,s).
Emotionally, we are having good days and bad days, hoping things settle down once his treatment routine is established.
xx
Hi Gigi1973
I am so sorry to read about your husband's Kidney cancer diagnosis, I can see that you have already joined the Kidney Cancer forum and I hope that you have been getting some support and guidance there.
I am no medical expert, and my personal opinion may not be correct, but this is my understanding. Non curative but treatable means that without treatment the patient would be terminal, my reason for saying this is, My Husband was diagnosed with incurable Oesophageal Cancer in May 2020, and in November when I had a private conversation with his oncologist, she advised me that if Dal had chosen not to have treatment, we would have already lost him.
This possibly is not what you were looking for as an answer, and it may be very different for your husband, the only people who can really tell you more are the professionals who know his diagnosis... what I do know however is that my husband is doing very well considering his condition, he looks like he will beat his suggested prognosis, and as long as the treatment works for him, he will be fine.
I understand all the thoughts that you have regarding comprehending that he may die of this at some point, that very thought consumed me for many months and often creeps into my mind now, when I am not keeping busy but that's only because I love my husband so much, and I don't want to imagine my life without him in it at the same time, I am aware that no matter how well he looks, he needs all the help he can get.
And that is exactly what your husband is going to get, all the help that they can possibly give to manage his condition and keep him as healthy as possible.
Remembering that treatments are improving every year, we hang on to the hope that they will keep the cancer stable for a very long time and I truly hope they can do the same for your husband.
Thinking of you
Lowe'
