Hello
My dad, who’s 88, was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer last week:it has spread to his bones and lungs. He has mild Alzheimer’s, but has always been pretty fit. We thought he had an enlarged prostate as he couldn’t wee sometimes: but suddenly WHAM!! he’s got incurable cancer. My mum’s overwhelmed and there’s so many different teams coming round with lots of information. He has a catheter: that’s all new. My sister and I don’t live near, she’s there in the week as I work and I go down on Thursdays. He has am and pm carers, mum can’t do anything physical for him. GP wouldn’t say how long he had, he’s having hormone therapy: not sure if it’s good to know how long he has. So hard, I am worried about my mum. How do I cope?
Hello Indy10
Welcome to this very supportive forum, I am so sorry to read that your Dad was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer last week, what terrible shock that must have been for you all.
I have noticed that you have already posted in the Prostate Cancer forum, and I hope that you will receive some support there also.
Although I am not too familiar with Prostate cancer I do know how it feels to have a loved one diagnosed with incurable cancer, and I wanted to let you know that all that you are thinking and feeling is normal, you are not alone and although I am not able to tell you how, I can reassure you that somehow, you will cope.
My Dad is also in his 80's and was diagnosed a few months ago with a cancerous cyst in his stomach and alongside that he was also diagnosed with COPD, after being a very fit and healthy man for many many years it seems as though all of his ill's have come at once and it is so very difficult to watch a strapping 6ft man thin down and struggle with daily life. That said, he is a fighter, and he will give it all he has got for as long as he can.
No matter a person's age, a cancer diagnosis sends many loved ones into a spiral of emotions, and reading how things have so quickly changed in the family home for your Dad and Mum will have added, I am sure to your own whirlwind rollercoaster, It can be very difficult to retain focus at work when all of this is going on around you, and the worry that you have for Mum also will make things even more difficult to comprehend, I imagine.
As for prognosis, I think that is a double edged sword! for some, the beating the prognosis is the challenge, for other's the acceptance of the prognosis, reduces the fight, every person reacts different to the information they are given... So I don't know either whether it is good to know how long, after all, it is only a best guess. My husband who was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in May last year was given a prognosis of just over a year, which we are doing everything we can to beat.
I just wanted you to know, I am thinking of you and your family and your post are not unnoticed.
Take Care
Lowe'
