Helpless

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Hi, my husband was diagnosed in December with mesothelioma and is half way through his second cycle of chemotherapy.

I am watching him fade before my eyes. His nausea seems to never end even though he is on 2 meds for it. Therefore he finds it difficult to eat. It is up and down though. Yesterday he felt better as the day went on and had a good lunch and evening meal. Today he has been upstairs most of the day. He cant face eating, and has had some sips of a protein drink.

I find it so difficult to stand by and watch. I am a bit of a fixer but I am learning it is best to leave him to his own devices and let him do what he feels he can. But it is so so hard.

Is there recovery from this state? I am quite positive most of the time, but at the moment this is all I can see. Talk about living in the moment!!

I am sure there will be many of you who get alongside these feelings.

Jillybean74 over 3 years ago

Hi MinniePippa

So sorry to her about your husband. Mine has terminal prostate cancer (spread to lungs, liver and bones) and has just started a cycle of chemo (2nd dose last Friday) So far he’s just been a bit nauseous and off his food- lost a stone in three weeks. I’m not bragging but I’m quite a good cook and he’s always relished his food but now he has little to no interest in it although he is still managing to eat just enough.
I know exactly how you feel as I am definitely a fixer. His Dr has told him to try to get out for some exercise so I’m trying to encourage (feels like bullying sometimes) him to do that but he’s doing very little. How do we know whether that is the cancer or depression (which is understandable) and if we don’t know which it is, how do we know which way to look after them? I’ve always loved solving puzzles but finding this one impossible

I’m sorry I can’t answer your question about recovery as you are a bit further along the treatment road than we are but I hope your husband feels a bit better soon.
Remember to take care of yourself too x

Minniepippa over 3 years ago in reply to Jillybean74

Hi Jillybean,

Thank you for your reply. I am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this, it is awful isnt it. Like your husband, mine loved his food, but now dreads meal times...

All I can do is hope that he will come through this so that we will have some quality of life at the end of the treatment, after all, that is what it is for isn't it. And I guess they wouldnt put people through it if they didnt think it wouldnt be worthwhile. We need to cling on to that I think, when things seem so hopeless.

You take care of yourself too...even us Superwomen need to give ourselves a break!

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Helpless