My dad is dying and covid worry too

Hello Bookworm27

I am so very sorry to read about your Dad, I can imagine your heartbreak in thinking the surgery was going to be the answer, to find the Cancer return, and now having Dad with a Covid diagnosis, in a hospice, I feel so deeply for you and your Mum. 

You do not mention whether Dad shows any Covid symptoms, and I don't know the current practices of hospice care in a symptomatic patient, but I am hoping that he is not, and that is why Mum is being allowed to stay in the same room with him. 

It is only right that you should be cautious of Covid19, but I think you know the guidelines on how to protect yourself, Mum and Dad at this time, so please try not to let it take the final hours that you have with  Dad away from you.  I am unsure how aware of the situation Dad is, whether you can facilitate WhatsApp chats to reduce the amount of time spent in the room? 

I understand also the fear you carry for your Mums safety, I think I may feel the same, but take comfort in knowing she is doing for her Love everything she possibly can, I think it is her way, has been her way and it something I imagine she needs to do.. the hospice team will monitor the room and both Mum and Dad whilst they are there, I am sure.

Your Dad is still so young, I am so sorry that this is happening in your world and I am sending you all Strength during the coming days.

Lowe'

Hi Bookworm27, 

I'm in a similar situation. My mum is 56 and has bowel cancer with mets in her liver. She's not having anymore chemo and is deteriorating. It's horrendous seeing her this way and I feel so helpless. I'm so sorry your dad also has Covid. I'm aware you posted this 26 days ago- has there been any changes since then? 

Sending love x

My dad passed away 2 weeks ago. Thankfully he never showed any covid symptoms and nor did we after visiting him. But it’s obviously a very upsetting time. He was only 56 and I feel heartbroken and the injustice of it all. 

I’m sorry to hear about your mum. It is a truly terrible thing to have to watch someone you love deteriorate like that. Sending you strength xx

Dear Bookworm

My deepest condolences to you and your Mum, I am very sorry to read that your Dad has passed. 

Although he did not have Covid symptoms and neither you or Mum showed any either, I can only imagine how you are all feeling now.

(((HUGS))) to you all at this very sad time

Lowe'

I am so sorry about your Dad. I really am. How are you coping? 

I can't help but think about after my mum has passed and how ill come to terms with it... but actually I know I never will. I just wish, for now, that my mum was less confused, less in pain and less sick. Praying every day. 

Thank you for your reply x

I think when you know someone is deteriorating you do a lot of your grieving when they are still alive. For me, the worst part was seeing my dad suffering and in pain. Now that he’s gone I am heartbroken but relieved that he’s not suffering anymore. Nothing can hurt him again. It’s just us who are left behind who have to deal with our pain and loss now. 

Tell your mum anything you want to say. I take comfort in having the opportunity to tell my dad I loved him. 

My heart goes out to you. It’s a truly horrendous thing to have to go through. Know you’re not alone and please keep talking if it helps x 

I completely agree. I have cried so much over the past few days just seeing mum as she is. 

It must be a relief knowing your dad isn't in pain anymore. That's my fear for my mum that they won't manage to get on top of her pain. I make sure every night I tell her I love her, just incase. 

I'm sending you lots of love, strength and prayers xxx

After reading this message earlier, I decided to write my mum a letter. I read it out to her this evening when she was awake and then she read it herself afterwards. I said everything I wanted to say to her in the letter and I do feel a sense of relief now. She actually said she knew it all anyway haha, but I feel better knowing I told her myself. I just wanted to say it before she gets too doped up on medication. She's already sleeping 90% of the day as it is.

Hope you're okay and thank you for your message xx

That is fantastic EGviola

Sending strength to you and your Mum x

Lowe'