My 18 yr old son has inoperable brain tumour. How do I cope with him knowing he can’t do any other things he wanted to do with his life. Obviously lockdown isn’t helping at all as we can’t go anywhere but even if we could his mobility is getting bad. I don’t know what to say to my once confidence adventurous son who is almost bed ridden?
Hi Sltm
I can't imagine how difficult this is for you, our children are our world and we try as best we can to protect them, I am sorry to read that your Son has an inoperable brain tumour which now sees him almost bedridden.
You ask how do you cope with your Son knowing he can't do any other things he wanted to do with his life, and I am unsure whether you mean, how do you cope with telling him, or talking to him about it, or whether you mean how do you cope personally with this knowledge?
So if it ok I will try to address both.
Young people are often so much better at coping than we give them credit for, the truth, no matter how painful can be worked with, and in this time of computer tech we are able to find ways to give to others experiences that they may never have been able to achieve before (no matter how well they are) it is possible, that some of the things that your son had set his heart on doing physically may no longer be achievable, though depending on how he is being affected mentally by his brain tumour it may be possible to include virtual reality into his world. Many teenagers already play computer games that feel immersive, and there are other virtual reality techniques available which take individuals on journeys and experiences that they feel they are involved with. I remember some time ago watching video of a young girl with MS, she has been unable to walk for many years and always indicated to her Mum that she wanted to walk on the beach... the VR gave that opportunity, whilst she was on the beach looking down at feet, walking, which her brain associated as being hers she came across some ponies, and you see her hand stroking the air, as she felt that she was stroking the ponies, tears in her eyes...as it was so real.
This is not ideal, this is not what any of us would want for our children, but when there are elements out of our control, we learn to adapt, and that Sltm is I think how you will learn to cope with the knowledge that your precious young man has had limitations thrust upon him, which are outside of either of your control, You will Adapt.
Please reach out and talk to people,.. 0808 808 00 00 is the number for Macmillan every day of the year for 8am to 8pm if you would prefer to hear a voice. The champions are around on the site most of the day, as are many people who have their own experiences and can in some ways relate to your feelings.
Sending you and your young man, strength.
Lowe'
Fingers crossed the chemo is good to him x
